Most babies who appear to have newborn constipation have functional constipation.¹ This is temporary constipation caused by a diet change, growth spurt, or just being a newborn. Infants are born with weak abdominal muscles and immature sphincters, so straining to have a bowel movement can be normal, especially if they have a soft stool after a few minutes of straining.² Organic constipation is caused by a medical problem such as a disease or deformity.³

Baby constipation is common, with 3%-5% of doctor visits for children related to constipation issues.¹ As a parent, you must know your baby’s bowel movement (BM) patterns to notice changes. Then, monitor the changes to see if you need to contact your provider. Most parents worry about newborn constipation issues, but it is usually functional, and you can treat it at home.¹

Signs of Baby Constipation

How do you know if your baby is constipated? There are several signs to watch for:^2,3,4,5

• A smaller number of bowel movements than normal
• Stools that are hard or shaped like pellets
• Large, round stool or watery stool
• They’re straining more than usual
• Fussiness or crying when baby is making a bowel movement, followed by hard stool
• Swollen or bloated belly
• Decreased intake/refusal to eat
• Vomiting
• Blood in the stools (often from an anal fissure)

How Often Should a Newborn Poop?

Each baby develops bowel movement patterns once they consistently eat the same food, formula, or breast milk. So, you will notice if there is a difference in your baby’s pattern. Of course, their pattern can naturally change with age and the types of food introduced into their diet. For example, it is normal for exclusively breast-fed babies to pass gas frequently but only have a bowel movement every four to seven days.⁵ However, some breastfed babies poop after every feed!

Most formula-fed infants have anywhere from one to four BMs per day. Some infants will have a BM with every feeding, while others may go every one to three days.^3,6 Just be aware of your baby’s BM pattern and watch for changes.

What Can Cause Baby Constipation?

Baby constipation is most common when there is a diet change for the baby. This includes changes from breast milk to formula, from one formula to another, and when solid foods are introduced. If you see a difference in your baby’s pooping pattern, or if the stool (poop) is hard and not easy to pass, your baby could be constipated.⁴

Some other causes of newborn constipation could be:^3,4,8

• Not drinking enough fluid
• Low fiber in the diet
• Immature digestive system in newborns
• Weak abdominal muscles in newborns
• After an illness
• A medical disease or anatomical malformation, such as Hirschprung’s disease

Regardless of the cause of your baby’s constipation, if it doesn’t resolve after two weeks with home remedies, you should contact your provider.⁷

How To Relieve Constipation in Babies Quickly

There are many ways to help your baby poop. One of the easiest ways to relieve baby constipation is a diet adjustment.^2,4,5 Remember to experiment with the amounts of added food or liquid items. It is best to only change one thing at a time and no more than one thing per 24-hour period. You do not want to give your baby diarrhea. Also, always check with your doctor before adding water, juice, or cereal to your baby’s diet. Here are some simple ways to help your baby’s constipation:^2,4,5

• Add water to their daily routine: Start with 1-2 oz daily, but not at regular feeding time. This is not recommended for young infants as people often misunderstand and add too much water, resulting in hyponatremia.
• Add 100% apple, pear, or prune juice for babies, which are good for constipation: You might start with 2 oz of juice, one to two times a day, but not at regular feeding time. Go slow and follow your doctor’s orders.
• Increase fiber in the diet: You can do this by adding wheat, oatmeal, or barley cereal. Avoid rice cereal, as it might cause constipation, and there are concerns it contains inorganic arsenic.⁹ Limiting this is also essential as these increase calories that are not particularly beneficial to growth.

There are also other ways to help with baby constipation that don’t include a diet change to help your baby pass their stool (poop). For example, you could try body positions to help the newborn poop, the belly press trick, and rectal/anal stimulation:^4,5

• Give the baby a warm bath: It can relax them and make it easier to pass the stool.
• Exercise the baby’s legs like they are pedaling a bicycle: This can help stimulate the bowels.
• Position or push the baby’s knees up to the chest: This puts the body in a squatting position (even though they are lying down), which helps release stool from the anus.
• Gently massage or press on the belly: Start at the lower right corner of the abdomen. Move upward in a straight line, then across the belly at the belly button level toward the left side and down to the left corner.
• Use a rectal thermometer to stimulate the anus: Put the thermometer in the anus as if you were taking their temperature. You can also do this with a cotton swab by adding some Vaseline to the swab and inserting it into the anus — only insert the tip of the swab.

You must contact your provider if none of the above home remedies relieve your baby’s constipation. They may suggest using a baby glycerin suppository or an enema.

When To Talk to a Doctor

If you decide to use a home remedy to help with your baby’s constipation, you should always follow your provider’s advice. If the home remedies don’t produce results after two weeks, contact your provider for further instructions. But if you see any of the following signs or symptoms in your baby, call your doctor immediately:^1,4

• Blood in the stool, which could indicate an infection in babies
• Black-colored stools which can mean there is blood in the digestive system
• Large bloated and distended belly, along with not wanting to feed and signs of constipation
• Vomiting develops after symptoms of constipation and belly bloating

How To Prevent Baby Constipation

Preventing baby constipation isn’t the best way to look at the situation. You never know when your baby may get constipated and need some help with passing stool. You should consistently monitor the stool for signs of constipation but can’t prevent it. And if you try too hard to prevent constipation, you may end up with the opposite problem — diarrhea.

The best way to prevent baby constipation is by following a proper diet, following your provider’s instructions about the baby’s diet, and remembering how to treat baby constipation. Here is a list of some general guidelines you can follow to try and help prevent baby constipation:⁷

• Ensure plenty of fluid intake: Ensure your baby is feeding the proper number of times per day for their age. Your provider can give you this information.
• Use proper amounts of fiber in the diet: Different baby foods contain different amounts of fiber. Pears, peaches, plums, and prunes (or any of their juices) contain high fiber.
• Frequent monitoring of stools: It’s easy to monitor your baby’s stool since you and your family are the most frequent diaper changers. If there are fewer dirty diapers than usual or the stool seems hard and pellet-like, that’s the time to help your baby with constipation.
• Regular exercise and tummy: Exercise for babies includes tummy time. This is where you lay them on their belly for a small amount of time a few times a day, moving their legs in a circular motion as if peddling a bike. Do this while playing with them or during a diaper change, and some of the swings and bouncy seats give your baby a chance to exercise.

Helpful Hints on How To Help Your Baby Poop

As a pediatric registered nurse, over the years, I have heard many parents mention the fastest or most effective way that helped their baby to poop. Here are some of the “winners” of the “I got my baby to poop” category:^2,4,5

• If your newborn is passing gas but not pooping, they will be pooping soon. The gas indicates the intestines are working and moving the stool along. Be patient.
• The general rule for fruit juice is to give a baby 1 oz for every month of life. So, a 2-month-old can have 2 oz of fruit juice per day.
• Rectal stimulation with a rectal thermometer or a cotton swab two to three times daily is one of the easiest and most effective home remedies for constipation.
• Make sure the baby gets regular exercise and tummy time.
• Never give a baby stool softener, laxatives, or an enema without contacting your provider.

All babies have their systems and respond to constipation home remedies differently. And since babies grow and change rapidly, you might find it frustrating to keep trying multiple remedies until you find the one that works for your baby. This is normal. Try to be patient. You will become aware of your baby’s BM pattern. Once familiar with their pattern, it will be easy to recognize signs of constipation. You can help them easily with all the tips and tricks when that happens. Then you, like many other parents and caretakers, can start your baby on the road to smooth and easy BMs. Happy diaper changing!

Having a newborn is life-changing. This new little one relies on you to fulfill their every need — a demanding job. Personalities become quickly apparent, and preferences are made known. First-time and seasoned parents are greeted with fresh challenges as they navigate this new person. And sometimes, parents must navigate life with a high-needs baby.

What does it mean when your baby is more demanding, intense, and draining than others? A high-needs baby requires more attention, more intuitiveness, and a lot of grace. While it may seem like no end is in sight, you will make it through with the right strategies and support.

What Is a High-Needs Baby?

It should be no secret — babies cry. Crying is a normal form of communication that infants rely on to make their needs known. Babies who have issues with early behaviors of crying, sleeping, and feeding will often receive the title of “a difficult” baby.¹

“High-needs baby” is not a medical diagnosis, and because of this, there is limited research available. Instead, this term describes a behavior pattern that affects approximately 20% of newborns.² Most of what we know of high-needs newborns results from parent experience and hallmark characteristics.

It is essential to identify a high-needs baby so you can have a better understanding and plan to meet your child’s needs while maintaining your sanity.

12 Common Characteristics of a High-Needs Baby

You may have a high-needs baby if their behaviors are consistently more extreme than other children. Medical experts identify 12 trademark features of a high-needs baby. They are:³

1. Intense Reactions

High-needs babies seemingly overreact to everything with demanding cries, loud protestations, and ravenous feedings. The baby’s feelings are evident in their everyday activities and tense body language.

2. Demanding Behavior

The intensity of a high-needs newborn’s reaction is incredibly demanding on the caregiver. They want now, not in a few minutes. You may feel as though your newborn’s behavior is controlling what you do.

3. Hyperactivity

Being “hyperactive” is a trait with a negative connotation. But for a baby, hyperactivity describes the muscles and mind always being ready to go and rarely willing to sit still or be calm.

4. Sensitive to Everything

A super sensitive, high-needs baby is highly aware of the environment around them. This leads to an easily startled baby who prefers the safety of their environment and is resistant to other caregivers. In addition, they react in a big way when something bothers them.

5. Separation Anxiety

High-needs babies are described as clingy, consistently preferring the comfort of their primary caregiver. New people and new places cause anxiety for the baby. Screaming often ensues when they find themselves in another’s arms.

6. Does Not Want to be Put Down

A high-needs baby only wants to be held and cries when they’re put down. They crave your touch and movement as their safe place. Baby-wearing may become your specialty.

7. Unable to Self-Soothe

Instead of using a pacifier, thumb, or other object to self-soothe, a high-needs baby prefers their caregivers to help them be calm. They need lots of help falling asleep. These babies must learn to trust that their parents will teach them to relax.

8. Difficulty Sleeping

The intensity and hyperactivity of a high-needs infant carry through to the nighttime. Their restlessness is a product of their ultra-sensitive nature and ability to overreact to stimuli. Because they generally crave physical contact and have difficulty self-soothing, high-needs babies don’t transition well into dreamland when they are put down.⁴

9. Not Satisfied

Despite your best efforts, your high-needs baby never seems satisfied, content, or comfortable. As a parent, this can be incredibly frustrating and defeating.

10. Unpredictable and Inconsistent

High-needs newborns are constantly fluid in their likes and dislikes. What worked yesterday does not work today. This is the same for their emotional intensity. Frequent mood swings leave no middle ground between happy and angry.

11. Frequent Feeding

High-needs babies often seek comfort with feeding. Breastfeeding is incredibly comforting. You may find that your baby asks to be fed frequently but only breastfeeds for a few minutes.

12. You Might Feel Drained

Because of the other characteristics, it might feel like high-needs babies require every bit of energy from you, and it never feels like enough. With all the love and energy you pour into your little one, it can feel draining.

What Causes a High-Needs Baby?

It is important to remember that having a high-needs baby is not your fault. We do not know why some babies have more sensitive and reactive temperaments. As with the personalities of children and adults, infants also have different dispositions, with some requiring much more attention than others.

Effects of Being a High-Needs Baby

Some limited research suggests that babies with regulatory behavior problems — excessive crying and issues with sleep and feeding — are at higher risk for developing behavioral problems as they grow.^2,5 Some research has shown an association between an older infant’s 12 month-behavior and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in preschoolers.⁶

Many high-needs newborns have changes in their temperament as they age, which can be shaped by their environment, early prevention, and interventions for significant issues.⁵

Does a High-Needs Baby Mean Autism?

A high-needs baby does not mean your child has autism or is on the spectrum. Subtle signs of autism can be observed before age 2. These signs generally relate to language development, play with peers and alone, eye contact, response to their name, and repetitive behaviors.⁷

If you are concerned about the signs of autism or your child is at a genetically higher risk for autism, do not hesitate to speak with your pediatrician.

Tips to Cope with a High-Needs Baby

Caring for a high-needs infant can be emotionally and physically taxing for parents and caregivers. Infant feeding and crying difficulties are associated with parental anxiety, depression, and bonding issues.¹ Here are some suggestions for coping with your high-needs infant.

Remember: This Too, Shall Pass

More than likely, your infant’s demands are temporary. As they grow and develop emotionally and physically, they will become more consistent, independent, and communicative. It is hard to recognize this when you are in the thick of it, but relief is on the way.

Give Yourself Grace

Set low expectations for daily tasks. Your baby’s needs will be the priority. Accept that you will have good days and bad days, days when you feel like a failure, and other days that are great successes. Forgive yourself for feelings of guilt, frustration, annoyance, and resentment.

Imagine Life From the Baby’s Point of View

Our perception that a baby should be independent and proficient at self-soothing is an adult desire but not the baby’s reality. They know nothing of this. The child-parent attachment is strong, and infants do not see themselves as separate from their parents.

Be Flexible

Your high-needs baby is unpredictable and inconsistent. So, you must be flexible and fluid with your attempts to comfort and satisfy. Be willing to play a continual game of trial and error. Accept that one technique will work some days, but the next day may require something new.

Learn Your Baby’sLanguage

You will quickly learn that your baby has a language of its own. Focus on the differences in your baby’s fussiness and cries to identify their needs. Try to find some consistency in their likes and dislikes. This will help you react appropriately to their needs sooner.

Have a Basket Full of Tricks

Because of your baby’s vast array of daily likes and dislikes, you must develop various strategies to fulfill their needs or help them relax. Take notes if it helps.

Lean Into Parenthood

Recognize your role as a parent to provide comfort, ensure safety, and guide them even on the most challenging days. While you’ll have tough days, resist the urge to feel like a victim or that your child is doing anything on purpose. Despite their behavior, your baby is only doing what it knows how to do to be comforted or fed.

Seek Support

It is essential to discuss your concerns about your infant’s behavior and advocate for your mental health. Gaining support from your partner, family, or friends can help you get through the most challenging days. Joining a parent community, even a virtual one, will give you an outlet to share your frustrations and commonalities with others.

A high-needs baby can make parenting feel like a black hole, and relief can feel light years away. It is vital for your well-being that you develop stress-coping skills and strategies for meeting your little one’s needs.

Newborns sleep most of the day away. In their short stints of alertness during the day, many parents simply want to stare into their new baby’s eyes. When observing your little one’s gaze, they may seem cross-eyed. Seeing a cross-eyed baby may worry you.

This may be normal depending on your baby’s age and the frequency you notice your newborn’s eyes crossed. If you are concerned about your newborn with crossed eyes, read on to learn whether your baby is genuinely cross-eyed, when they may grow out of their crossed eyes, and some causes and solutions for cross-eyed babies.

Is My Baby Cross-Eyed?

Babies can sometimes appear cross-eyed even when they are not. If their nose has a wide nasal bridge, this can give the illusion that one eye turns in more than the other. They can also seem cross-eyed if they have an extra fold of skin on the inner eyelid. This extra fold can cover more of the white of the eye, making it appear like your baby has asymmetrical eyes.¹

If it is not the skin or the nose causing your baby to appear cross-eyed, your baby’s eyes may be misaligned or pointing in different directions. Your baby’s eyes may cross only occasionally, or they may always appear crossed. One or both eyes can point in, out, up, or down instead of straight ahead and parallel.²

There are two common causes of what parents describe as “crossed eyes.” The first is when the eyes are actually crossed, which is caused by a problem with the muscles that make the eyes move. The second is more commonly known as a “lazy eye.” A lazy eye can be caused by crossed eyes that are left untreated. It can also happen when the vision is poorer in one eye, so the brain only uses one eye to see, and the other eye becomes “lazy.”^3-16

Is It Normal for My Baby To Be Cross-Eyed?

It can be normal for the eyes of very young babies to cross occasionally. Their eyes and ocular muscles have not had much practice in your dark womb, so they are uncoordinated. But if you are wondering when do babies’ eyes change, the answer is around four months. Your baby’s eyes should straighten out after 4 to 6 months. If they do not align around your baby’s half-birthday, your baby’s uneven eyes may not be normal.²

Cross-Eyed Baby at One Year

A pediatric ophthalmologist should evaluate babies who remain cross-eyed beyond 4 months. If they are still cross-eyed at 1 year of age, they may be diagnosed with strabismus. It is most often diagnosed between the ages of 1 and 4 but rarely can be diagnosed up until the age of 6.²

Your pediatrician should perform regular eye exams at your baby’s well-child visits. These are the best ways to detect any issues with crossed eyes. If the pediatrician notices crossed eyes during an exam of your baby, they may refer you to an eye doctor for further testing and treatment. It is essential to diagnose strabismus early to treat and resolve it.²

What Causes Cross-Eyes in Babies?

Here are some factors that could cause your little one to be cross-eyed:

Prematurity

Premature babies are at risk for retinopathy of prematurity, in which blood vessels grow abnormally in the eye.¹⁷ This condition has been shown to increase the risk of crossed eyes.¹⁸

Family History

People with parents or siblings with strabismus are more likely to have it themselves. This suggests a genetic link to weakened eye muscles.^19,20

Medical Conditions

In some cases of a cross-eyed baby, it is not the eye muscles at fault but the nerves that control those muscles. If your child has suffered a stroke or head injury or has cerebral palsy or Down syndrome, their ocular nerves may struggle to make both eyes focus in alignment, causing crossed eyes. In addition, rare medical conditions may affect your child’s vision, which can lead to the appearance of being cross-eyed or having a “lazy eye” because one eye does not have the same vision as the other.²⁰

Straining

If a child is vision-impaired with near- or far-sightedness, they may compensate by straining to see. This visual straining can cause the eyes to drift apart or misalign and become crossed over time.²¹

How To Naturally Fix Crossed Eyes in Babies

If you notice a cross-eyed baby, remember that this can be normal in the first four months of life. Their eye muscles may need to adjust to the outside world. In these first few months, there are some things you can do at home to strengthen crossed newborn eyes:

Support Visual Development

High-contrast images such as black-and-white cards are easier for your baby to focus on. Expose them to many images and environments.²²

Practice Tracking

Hold an image or toy 8 to 10 inches from your infant’s face; this is the optimal distance for seeing until 4 months old. Slowly move the object from side to side, encouraging your cross-eyed baby to maintain their focus on it. You can also encourage the tracking of objects by moving or turning your baby slowly around a room. This allows them to practice tracking objects and switching focus.²²

Maintain Balance

Alternate the side that you hold your baby to feed, and switch up the side of the crib on which you lay them down to sleep. This allows both eyes to strengthen evenly as your baby looks out and practices seeing equally out of both eyes and turning their head in each direction.²²

When Do Babies’ Eyes Stop Crossing?

While it may be tempting to wait out your baby’s crossed eyes to see if they improve on their own, this will likely make the crossed eyes worse, not better. Children are unlikely to outgrow cross-eyes. As the stronger eye becomes more dominant, the crossed eye can become more prominent and “lazy.” ²⁰

If your baby’s crossed eyes persist beyond four months, mention it to their primary care provider. You may be eager to fix your baby’s crossed eyes, but it is often best to leave this to professionals.

Treatment for a Cross-Eyed Baby

In the most common diagnosis for crossed eyes (strabismus), the treatment is to strengthen the weaker eye. The best way to do this is to suppress vision in the stronger eye, thereby encouraging the child’s brain to work to focus with the weaker eye. You can achieve this using glasses, an eye patch, or glasses. Very rarely, crossed eyes in babies may need surgical repair.²

Often, a young cross-eyed baby is nothing to worry about and will resolve independently. Encourage your baby to focus, turn their head in each direction, and see with both eyes. If your baby’s crossed eyes persist or worsen, or you are concerned, your pediatrician should be able to help you determine the next steps. It is good to pay attention to your baby’s eye alignment, as early discovery and treatment of crossed eyes provide the best outlook for their alignment and vision.²

The first few weeks of becoming a dad are the greatest and most frustrating. You’re there for every moment, wanting to help and contribute. Ultimately, it’s difficult for new dads to connect and bond with a newborn baby the same way a mother can. We can’t soothe with breastfeeding. There’s that special connection between mom and baby that we can’t replicate. However, it doesn’t mean dads can’t be a tremendous help! Here are some notes I took after my daughter Adley was born on how I can help my wife the most. These are more than just suggestions. With another baby on the way this spring, they are good reminders for me, too!

13 Ways for Dads to Be Involved in Baby Care

Here are some ways to be a better dad and partner when your baby arrives:

1. Find Out What Your Partner Needs

This may seem simple, but it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the craziness of childbirth and the aftermath. Your partner likely just went through a traumatic experience giving birth and will need time to recover. Ask what you can do to help her during that time. Sometimes, a new dad should take care of the baby for a couple of hours so she can take a nap. Other times, it means watching the older kids so she has time to bond with the new baby. Ensure your partner feels loved and supported, especially in those first few days.

2. Clearly Communicate the Division of Labor

One of the biggest hurdles new parents face is not communicating wants and expectations. It’s an easy thing to set aside when you’re sleep-deprived and dealing with a completely new reality. Making sure you’re both on the same page leads to more understanding and a happier environment for everyone (baby included). A 2020 study on fathers’ involvement with newborns found both parents were happier when things were communicated clearly and tasks distributed fairly, compared to leaving most of the work to the mother.¹

3. Help With Overnight Feedings

This is one I can’t recommend to dads enough. There can be pressure on mothers to handle all the overnight feedings, particularly if they are breastfeeding. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. When my daughter, Adley, was born in 2020, my wife and I would rotate feedings through the night. I would give Adley a bottle of either breastmilk or formula when it was my turn. This not only allowed me to remove some of the burden from my wife but also allowed us to get a little more sleep. Five to six consecutive hours can make a big difference.

4. Take Advantage of Your Baby’s Portability

Speaking from experience, it can be easy to fall into the trap of keeping your baby inside the house too much. It’s safe, everything you need is close by, and it’s predictable. But take advantage of your baby’s portability. Dads, if you need to run to the hardware store or see a friend, bring the baby with you! Getting outside in different environments is good stimulation for a baby. Plus, it’s much easier to do before they get too mobile.

5. Take Time off From Work

Let me preface this by saying I know this won’t be an option for everyone. Only 11 states and the District of Columbia offer paid family leave, with the time varying from state to state.² But if your job offers paternity leave, or you have vacation time saved up, TAKE IT! A 2019 study found children whose fathers took at least two weeks off work felt a closer bond nine years later.³ This can also help establish a routine with your baby to make life easier for mom and dad.

6. Have Fun With Your Baby

Those first few weeks involve learning your baby’s needs and finding a routine. Soon, you’ll start noticing them more awake and aware of what’s happening around them. While doing things like skin-to-skin contact with baby and dad is essential, don’t forget to take time to enjoy the fun moments, too. Play peek-a-boo, make silly faces, and do tummy time. These moments you’ll never forget will help create a stronger bond between daddy and baby.

7. Offer Your Partner a Break

Giving birth is the equivalent of major surgery. But unlike major surgery, a tiny human comes home with you, and it’s your job to keep it alive. Between recovery and breastfeeding, your wife/partner will likely be drained physically and mentally. Offer to step in and help as much as you can. Take the baby for a walk in the neighborhood or offer to put the baby down for a nap. Even the smallest gestures can make a difference and lead to a happier and healthier partnership.

8. Master the Diaper

Before my daughter Adley was born, I changed zero diapers. I can probably count on one hand how many babies I held, too. This is to say I had no experience and no idea what I was doing. The good news is I learned how to change a diaper quickly. You will, too! I assigned myself the job of diaper changer. I’m sure this is in the “How to be a Good Dad” handbook. It’s a task no one likes to do, but I knew it was something I could take off my wife’s plate. Practice on a doll before the baby comes, and watch how the nurses do it in the hospital. You’ll be an expert quickly, making you very popular at home.

9. Clean Bottles and Pumps

After becoming a father, I never expected how much additional cleaning it entails. Washing bottles is a daily, time-consuming task. If your partner is breastfeeding, the pump must also be cleaned regularly. My suggestion is don’t ask; do it. This is one of the best ways to make yourself useful when the baby is napping or spending time with mom.

10. Help Manage Visitors

When the baby is born, EVERYONE will want to meet them. It’s a special time, and it can be wonderful to share. But it can also be overwhelming. Act as the gatekeeper. Identify when is a good time and when is a bad time to have visitors. Also, don’t be afraid to end a visit early or cancel. They will understand. It’s your baby; you get to make the rules.

11. Read to Your Baby

It may seem strange to read to a baby who’s only opening their eyes for minutes at a time. But it can make a big difference. An Ohio State study found that kids who are read just one book a day by their parents will hear around 290,000 more words by the time they enter kindergarten compared to kids who aren’t read to.⁴ Even early on, the benefits can be significant.

12. Cook Dinner

This isn’t directly related to caring for a baby, but dads who do this know why it’s crucial. Between recovery and possibly breastfeeding, your partner will be even more tired than you are. Cooking her favorite meal or something simple for the two of you will take a weight off her shoulders. It’s one less thing she has to think about. It’s also something you can both enjoy together.

13. Plan a Date Night

Nothing changes your life like having a baby. You no longer have the freedom to go out when you want or spend time together like you used to. Once your partner is fully recovered, find a babysitter and have a night for yourselves. It can be easy to get lost in parenting and forget about each other, but nothing makes a family stronger than a happy mom and dad.

Seeing your baby born will be one of the most memorable moments of your life, and that’s when the hard part begins. There is no shortage of ways for dads to help with baby care, especially in those initial days and months. That doesn’t mean casually saying, “Let me know how I can help.” Offer specific ideas, learn what chores are most burdensome on your partner, and, most importantly, listen. Being an attentive dad is a skill that will come in handy. It will also allow for bonding between a dad and newborn, creating a connection that can last a lifetime.

Attachment is the unique relationship or bond between you and your baby. The quality of this bond can vary, but a secure attachment bond or style with your baby is all about the wordless, emotional exchanges between the two of you that help your baby feel safe and calm.¹ Attachment is a critical factor that underpins how your little one develops socially, emotionally, and even physically.

What Is Secure Attachment?

Does your baby cry when you leave them? Do they quickly recover when you return? They are likely experiencing secure attachment. So, what does that mean? The definition of secure attachment in psychology (developed initially and explored by Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby) explains how a primary caregiver’s sensitivity and responsiveness to their child’s needs create a sense of trust, resilience, and confidence. Attachment theories suggest that when caregivers are aware of and responsive to their child’s needs, the child develops a sense of security. They also learn that they can depend on their caregiver, which creates a secure base that allows them to explore the world around them.¹

This original theory stems from four main types of attachment.¹ While a secure attachment style indicates that your baby feels safe and secure knowing they can depend on you, the other three styles signal an insecure attachment bond. An insecure attachment style can hinder your child’s brain development, impact their mental, emotional, and physical development, and negatively affect their ability to form relationships as they grow.² This arises when caregivers fail to meet their children’s needs, which can happen for various reasons. The three additional attachment styles are:³

1. Ambivalent Attachment

Children who are ambivalently attached can be quite suspicious of strangers and experience intense distress when separated from their primary caregiver. However, their caregiver often does not comfort or reassure them when they return and may reject or be aggressive toward them.

2. Avoidant Attachment

Children who are avoidantly attached typically avoid their caregivers. This might be more noticeable after a period of absence. While they might not outwardly reject their parents’ attention or presence, they don’t actively seek out contact with them or comfort from them. They typically don’t know any preference between their caregiver and a stranger.

3. Disorganized Attachment

Children who experience a disorganized attachment pattern with their parents don’t typically show clear attachment behaviors. They respond to their caregiver in a mixed way; they might be avoidant or ambivalent. They may even seem apprehensive or confused by the presence of their caregiver.

Why Is Secure Attachment So Important?

Developing a secure attachment style with your baby is essential. When you meet their needs for security and safety, it means their nervous system is optimally developed. Secure attachment in infants allows their developing brain to “organize” itself on a foundation of safety.⁴ I know that sounds a little confusing, but your child’s brain develops and starts to make sense of the world by using early experiences to guide it. So, if your child experiences a strong, secure early relationship, they will usually feel safe, have the energy to explore the world around them, and assume they can trust other people.

Your baby or child who experiences a secure attachment style tends to encounter the following benefits:⁴

• Have a healthy sense of self-awareness
• Better equipped to identify their needs, share their feelings, and ask for help or support to get their needs met
• Increased empathy
• Increased feelings of trust (ability to trust others)
• Be more eager, willing, and able to learn (which can increase achievement in school)
• More independent and willing to explore or try new things
• Be more resilient or react better to stressful events
• Have better problem-solving skills
• Experience stronger, more positive relationships
• Have better self-esteem
• Be less likely to experience depression or anxiety

Tips for Creating a Secure Attachment With Your Baby

Considering the massive benefits, it’s essential to understand how to develop a secure attachment style with your little one. Here are some tips for secure attachment parenting:

1. Eat, Sleep, Repeat

This one is a quick win. You will be getting into feeding and sleep routines, and because a secure attachment style with your baby means you are responding to (and are aware of) their needs, this daily activity is already setting you down a good path. As you get to know them, you will start being able to read their cues — “Aha, that’s a cranky, tired cry” versus “That’s their hungry cry.” These form the building blocks of secure attachment, as you will start to follow their cues and respond to their needs.⁵

2. Become a Detective

This one comes with time as you get to know your baby. Their cries might sound similar, but they will show you what they need. You don’t need to get it right 100% of the time, but it’s vital that you pay attention to their facial expressions, postures, etc., try to figure out what they mean, and then respond. Every baby is different, as is their preferred way of being comforted — jiggle them up and down, go somewhere quiet and calm, hold them close and have a cuddle, etc.

You could have a mental checklist of all the possible baby needs and check them off until you get it right. Then, learn from it and try to remember for next time. Remember, babies can cry for complex, inscrutable baby reasons, so sometimes it is about time, patience, and contact with you before they do settle.

3. Look After Yourself

Being stressed, overwhelmed, burned out, etc., makes it harder to be present and engaged with your little one. I know it’s easier said than done when your whole life has been tipped upside down by your new arrival. You might be sleep-deprived, and your relationship with your partner, among other things, could change. But try to ask for help or accept it when it’s offered. Ensure that when you have a chance, you engage in self-care. You could pop the baby in the carrier and do some postpartum safe yoga (once you have had your approval from your postpartum check-up). You could pop in your headphones and listen to an audiobook while you are feeding bub or nap trapped. Just try to sneak in ways to look after yourself.

4. Manage Your Own Emotions

Yes, you will be a big bundle of hormones postpartum, and sometimes, those sleepless nights will make you a bit cranky. However, it’s important to manage your feelings, as our little ones can pick up on our stress and anxiety.⁵ As they feed into your feelings, they will be harder to soothe, exacerbating your stress. It can become a bit of a vicious cycle.

So, find ways to calm down or self-soothe before interacting with your little one. This could be taking a few calm breaths before grabbing them from their crib. Or you could practice progressive muscle relaxation while feeding them or before you get out of bed in the morning. Maybe you could get a stress ball, use calming scent roller balls, get a massage from your partner, or find other nice sensory activities to help you feel calm.

5. Have Fun With Your Baby

It’s essential to make eye contact, laugh, smile, and enjoy your time with your baby. They will pick up on your cues (i.e., that you enjoy being with them) and feel connected to you and comforted by your actions. You aren’t a robot, so don’t force a smile or expect to be 100% happy 100% of the time. But set some time aside each day to really get on their level and connect. Try to time it for when they aren’t tired or overstimulated; otherwise, it can make them more unsettled.

Challenges To Creating a Secure Attachment With Your Baby

There is no rulebook or one-size-fits-all approach to creating a strong and secure attachment by meeting your child’s needs. They are just as unique as we are, and so are their preferences. But other reasons or things happening in your world might affect your ability to create a secure attachment style with your baby. Challenges can come from either the side of the parent or baby. From the parent’s side, these barriers can include:⁶

• Sleep deprivation
• High levels of stress
• Lack of support
• Living in an unsafe environment (either their home or community)
• Depression, anxiety, or other emotional problems (These can impact or make attachment more challenging, but they don’t necessarily equate to insecure attachment. For instance, a parent with
• depression might find it harder to develop a secure bond, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it won’t happen.)
• Adverse childhood experiences, including abuse, neglect, or a chaotic childhood
• Drug and alcohol problems

Babies with the following characteristics may have challenges with secure attachment:

• Some babies have temperaments that are fussier or harder to soothe
• Babies who had problems in utero or during delivery
• Babies who were born premature or had other reasons that led them to be in intensive care
• Those who have been separated from their primary caregiver at birth
• Health issues either at birth or from an early age
• Babies with many caregivers (inconsistent caregivers)

Remember, you don’t have to be a perfect parent to create a secure bond with your baby. All you need to do is try your best and persist. Secure attachment is about quality and your willingness to respond to your child’s needs, even if you don’t get it right 100% of the time. It can even help attachment become secure if you recognize that you haven’t met their need and correct it. This shows your intention to be aware of their needs and your willingness to meet them.

Parenting can be tricky; there is no manual, and it can be complicated and confusing. So, if you are struggling with attachment or bonding with your child, it’s essential to seek support early on so things can get back on track!

Babies do not come with instructions. Sometimes, new parents need to learn on the fly, and it’s scary when something seems wrong with your baby. Some babies suddenly start crying nonstop, while others may spit up a lot. This article tackles two common conditions: colic and baby reflux. We explain the differences, signs to look for, and some common treatments.

What Are Common Colic Symptoms?

All newborns cry when hungry and usually cry for another one to two hours throughout the day. Babies communicate their needs, like hunger, dirty diapers, and needing comfort by crying.³ However, colic is different and typically defined as prolonged crying for more than three hours a day, three or more days a week for at least three weeks.^1,3 Although crying episodes can happen at any time of the day, they often occur in the evening.⁴ Colicky babies are difficult to console, and crying may last a few minutes to hours.²

In an otherwise healthy baby, common colic symptoms include:^1,2,3

• Their face may turn red when crying
• They may make fists with their hands
• They may bring their legs up to their abdomen
• They may appear to be in pain
• Their belly may be slightly swollen
• Crying that begins suddenly for no apparent reason

What Causes Colic in Babies?

Doctors do not know precisely what causes newborns to have colic, and a lack of answers to explain your baby’s nonstop crying can be frustrating.¹ The good news is colic typically resolves by about 3 to 4 months of age. Symptoms usually begin around two to three weeks after birth and peak when your baby is 4 to 6 weeks old.²

Many believe gas is at least partly to blame for colic, but according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, this is a common myth. Babies can swallow air that passes through their bodies as gas when they cry. However, this is a normal process and should not be painful. So, when considering whether your baby may have colic vs. gas, remember that all babies pass a lot of gas. Since colicky infants have increased crying (and therefore swallow more air), they may pass more gas.³ Other sources, such as the American Academy of Family Physicians, still list “gas pains” as a potential contributing factor to colic.^1,2

Other possible factors include:²

• Feeding too much or too little
• Overstimulation
• Intolerance to formula or breastmilk
• Immature gastrointestinal system
• Emotional response to their surroundings

Although there is no test to diagnose colic, your doctor will complete a physical exam and health history. They may order diagnostic work like lab tests or X-rays to rule out a more severe diagnosis, as colic is a diagnosis of exclusion.¹

Are There Any Baby Colic Treatments?

Baby colic is common, but because the cause is unknown and likely multifactorial, treatment consists of avoiding potential triggers and comforting your baby.² Parents may experiment with trial and error to determine what works best. However, despite a parent’s best efforts, a baby is sometimes inconsolable. If there is no other medical reason for the crying, a colicky baby can rock any parent’s nerves, leaving them exasperated and exhausted. Babies who cry a lot are at risk for shaken baby syndrome; never shake a baby. If you become overwhelmed, ask for help or place your infant safely in a crib without extra blankets or toys and walk away (to another room) for 10 minutes. Shaking a baby can lead to death or life-long disability.⁵

To help a colicky baby, you can try:^1,2,3

• Skin-to-skin contact or swaddling your baby
• Rocking or singing to your baby
• Walking your baby in a stroller
• Going for a drive with your baby in a car seat
• Talking to your provider about feedings, as they may suggest a change
• Using a slow-flow nipple if your baby bottle feeds too fast
• Using white noise and a dimly lit room
• Giving your baby a warm bath or a massage
• Giving your baby a pacifier

Some over-the-counter medicines, such as simethicone drops, may help relieve gas, but always ensure it is okay with your pediatrician first. Colic may be a symptom of baby reflux, and your provider may recommend a different option.^1,2

What Causes Reflux in Babies?

It is normal for your baby to spit up because their gastrointestinal system is still developing. Some babies spit up more than others. Spitting up is also called baby reflux. Other names include gastroesophageal reflux (GER) and acid reflux. Baby reflux happens when the stomach contents (like milk) come back up the esophagus (feeding tube) and out the mouth or both the mouth and nose as spit-up. Normally, food is kept in the stomach by the lower esophageal sphincter, but when the structure is still developing, sometimes it opens, letting food and stomach acid back up.^6,7,8,10,11

You may notice your baby spitting up at 2-3 weeks old. Reflux is not usually a cause for concern if your baby is otherwise doing well and gaining weight. Most babies will outgrow reflux as their bodies develop by 12 months.^7,11

Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) is different. GERD occurs when a baby’s reflux impacts other areas of their health, like weight gain and breathing. GERD can happen in younger infants and older children.¹¹ GERD in babies may also resolve as they grow and mature, have better head control, and are introduced to solid foods.⁷ If your baby is diagnosed with GERD, you may need to see a specialist. Treatment recommendations can vary depending on the severity of your child’s symptoms.^6,7,11

What Are Common Acid Reflux Symptoms?

Spitting up is usually the first symptom of reflux and GERD in babies. GERD can cause other issues. Contact your pediatrician if you notice any of the following symptoms:^6,9,11

• Increased irritability during and after feedings
• Arching their back when crying
• Vomiting
• Gagging
• Coughing
• Difficulty breathing
• Vomit that is green, yellow, red, or brown
• Poor feeding
• Not gaining weight

What About Silent Reflux Symptoms?

Silent reflux is aptly named. Babies swallow their regurgitated stomach contents and may not spit up much, if at all. However, symptoms of silent reflux in babies often overlap with GERD symptoms.¹² Talk to your pediatrician if you think your infant may be suffering from silent reflux.

Are There Any Treatments for Reflux in Babies?

Babies are prone to reflux because they drink an all-liquid diet and spend much of their time lying down. Your health provider may recommend diet changes if your baby’s reflux symptoms are concerning. So you may wonder, does milk help acid reflux? Formula-fed children may do better on another type of formula. Sometimes, doctors recommend adding a little rice cereal to your baby’s milk.⁸

If your baby is not gaining weight or has other complications related to GERD, your provider may consider prescribing a medication for treatment. However, while these medications are available over the counter, parents should not give this medicine to a child without a doctor’s prescription.

Other non-pharmacologic things you can do to combat the symptoms of GERD include:¹¹

• Do not bounce your baby after feeding
• Hold your baby upright for 20-30 minutes after a feed
• Burp your baby after every 1-2 ounces of feed or after each breast
• Do not overfeed your baby

How Can I Tell the Difference Between Colic and Reflux?

When wondering if your baby may have colic vs. reflux, consider the following:

• Babies with colic and GERD are usually otherwise healthy
• Babies with colic cry for no apparent reason
• Babies with GERD may cry because of pain
• Babies with colic may or may not be spitty
• Babies with reflux spit up often
• Babies with colic may or may not have reflux
• Babies with GER or GERD may or may not have colic
• The cause of colic is unknown
• The anatomical cause of reflux is known (poor lower esophageal sphincter tone)
• Colic usually resolves by 3 to 4 months of age
• Reflux may resolve closer to one year

Talk to your provider if you believe your baby may have colic or reflux. Your doctor will want to rule out other conditions. Remember, you are not alone, and your provider should provide a better understanding of your baby’s situation. Some of our suggestions may also help during this challenging time.

It’s hard to believe your baby is already three months old. With each new month comes new and exciting changes for your baby. Watching your 3-month-old baby grow and develop brings great joy, but it can also bring questions and concerns. You may be curious about what milestones they should be reaching or what their feeding and sleeping schedule should look like. This article will help guide you through what to expect during your baby’s third month.

What Developmental Milestones Should My 3-Month-Old Baby Meet?

At three months, your baby becomes more active and alert as they spend more time awake. With this newfound alertness, you will notice leaps and bounds in their development. Some new motor skills they will develop include:¹

• Raising their head and chest when on their stomach
• Supporting their upper body with their arms when on their stomach
• Kicking their legs when on their stomach or back
• Pushing down on their legs when their feet are placed on a surface
• Swiping at and grasping toys
• Watching faces and objects as they move

Your baby will also develop some new social skills during their third month. These skills include:¹

• Babbling and imitating sounds
• Smiling at familiar faces
• Playing with others, and they may even cry when the playing stops
• Becoming more expressive with their face and body

What Should My 3-Month-Old Baby’s Feeding Schedule Look Like?

Feedings during the first three months of your baby’s life will look similar. While your 3-month-old may have more extended periods between feedings than they did as a newborn, they will still eat frequently. Your 3-month-old will typically eat every two to three hours or eight to 12 times daily. Your 3-month-old should eat about 4-6 ounces of breast milk or formula per feeding.²

Your baby may feed more frequently when going through a growth spurt, and you may wonder if they are getting enough. You will know your baby is getting enough milk by watching for these signs:^2,3

• They are alert, content, and active several times throughout the day
• They are gaining weight steadily
• They have regular wet and soiled diapers, typically five to six wet diapers (or more) daily

What Should My 3-Month-Old Baby’s Sleep Schedule Look Like?

At three months old, your baby’s sleep schedule may become more set in stone. Infants at this age typically sleep for 15 hours per day, broken up into about nine to 10 hours of nighttime sleep and four to five hours of daytime sleep.⁴ Your baby will typically take two to three naps daily, broken up into a mid-morning and mid-afternoon nap with an additional afternoon nap if needed. Some babies may continue to take four or five naps a day. It’s important to watch your baby for their sleepy cues.^5,6

Many parents wonder, “When do babies start sleeping through the night?” The good news is at around three months old, your baby may start to sleep through the night. But that may not mean what you think it means. Sleeping through the night as an infant means sleeping for a five- to six-hour stretch before waking to feed.⁵ Some babies may stretch that sleep period to six to eight hours, but not all.⁴ It can still be normal for some babies to continue to wake every two to three hours to feed, but if you have concerns about your baby’s sleep pattern, reach out to a professional.

What Should My 3-Month-Old Baby’s Daily Schedule Look Like?

During your baby’s first few months, their daily schedule can be unpredictable. As your baby reaches three months old, they will start to spend more time awake, making their schedule more concrete. Their daily schedule may still revolve around their nap and feeding times, but you can create a nap and feeding schedule that works for your baby.

Your 3-month-old will still need two to three naps per day, with the first nap typically happening two hours after they have awakened for the day. Their second nap often occurs sometime in the mid-afternoon following a feeding.⁶

This is also the month when you can develop a bedtime routine for your baby to help make bedtime a smooth process for now and in the future. You can start this routine by picking some activities you will do every night in the same order. These can include feeding, bath time, story or song time, or a quiet-time activity.⁶

Are There Any Health Concerns That I Need to Watch For?

During the first two months of your baby’s life, well-child visits become a monthly routine; however, a well-child visit is typically unnecessary at this age. Unless your child is behind on their vaccines, no shots are needed either.⁷

While your baby may not need a well-child visit, it is essential to seek medical help if your baby is experiencing any of the following conditions:⁷

• Diarrhea or vomiting causing dehydration
• Increased irritability accompanied by a fever or rash
• Skin irritations or rashes that don’t go away
• Respiratory infections such as a cold
• A fever over 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit. While a fever is no longer an emergency past two months, it may still be a good idea to reach out to your doctor if your baby develops a fever and ask what to watch out for and if you should give any medicine.

Even though your baby will not typically have a well-child visit at this age, if you are concerned about their weight, you can contact their doctor for monitoring. All babies are born at different weights and will grow at different rates. On average, babies will gain about 1 ounce per day over the first three months of their lives.¹² Your doctor can tell if your baby is growing appropriately according to their pattern.

Monitor Your Baby’s Development

It is important to continue to monitor your baby’s growth and development and to see your pediatrician if you notice any of the following in your baby:¹

• They don’t respond to loud noises
• They don’t notice their own hands
• They are not able to follow objects with their eyes
• They can’t grasp or hold a toy
• They can’t support their head while on their tummy or when being held
• They don’t babble
• They have trouble moving one or both of their eyes in all directions

What Are Some Activities I Can Do With My 3-Month-Old Baby?

As your baby becomes more alert and active, playtime becomes more engaging and fun for both of you. Your 3-month-old’s wake window typically lasts about one to three hours before they need to nap.¹¹ These wake windows are a perfect time to work on your baby’s developmental milestones. This list will help give you some ideas for engaging play with baby:⁸

• Clap their hands together gently
• Gently stretch their arms wide or overhead or cross their arms
• Pedal their legs when they are lying on their back
• Have them focus on a toy and move it back and forth in front of their face for them to follow
• Shake a rattle, and let your baby search for the noise
• Talk, read and sing to your baby, and make different facial expressions for them to mimic
• Encourage supervised tummy time
• Have a variety of colorful toys in different shapes, sizes, and textures for them to engage with

Safety Tips for Your 3-Month-Old Baby

Maintaining a safe environment is essential at any age, but as your baby becomes more active and alert, there are new safety concerns to consider. At this age, safety tips are geared toward keeping your baby safe in their environment. This can include:^9,10

• Using a slip-resistant tub during bath time
• Keeping the water level in the bath low, about 2-3 inches deep
• Using water no warmer than 96-100 degrees
• Always staying within arm’s reach of your baby while they are in the bath
• Using a firm mattress with no pillows, bumpers, blankets, or toys in their crib
• Putting your baby to sleep on their back
• Not leaving your baby unattended with a mobile attached to their crib
• Make sure your car seat is installed correctly, and adjust the straps to the appropriate height
• Don’t leave your baby unattended on a surface they can fall from, such as a couch, bed, or changing table
• Avoiding burns by not handling hot liquids or food while holding your baby
• Keeping small objects away from your baby to avoid choking

The third month of your baby’s life brings much growth and development. Their personality will emerge, and their interactions with their environments will increase. Watching your baby become more social and learn to use their voice brings pure joy and excitement for you and your baby, and their development is just starting to take off!

Gazing on a peacefully sleeping child can melt your heart, and the term “sleeping like a baby” conjures up sweet images in many people’s minds. But for new parents, accomplishing the sight of a serenely sleeping infant amidst showerless days, countless diapers and a lack of sleep can be challenging. It’s well-known that newborns and babies need a lot of sleep for optimal growth and development, but new parents may struggle to establish sleep training and a baby sleep schedule that works for their family.⁵ This article discusses newborn and infant sleep recommendations while answering common questions about sleep schedules during your child’s first year.

How Much Do Newborns Sleep?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), newborns do not have regular sleep cycles for up to six months. Although you can expect a newborn to sleep as much as 16 to 17 hours a day, those hours are several frequent one- to two-hour naps.¹

Newborn sleep cycles differ in duration, amount, and timing from older children and adults. A newborn’s sleep patterns can initially seem random, with your baby waking and sleeping around the clock. Conversely, uninterrupted sleeping for more than four to five hours can harm a newborn’s health and is not recommended.^1,5

Newborns up to about 3 to 4 months have different sleep schedules because they are hard-wired that way. Frequent awake times allow babies to maintain adequate oxygen levels and regulate their breathing.^1,2,5 These frequent wakings are essential for optimizing breastfeeding, breastmilk production, nutrition, and growth. Irregular newborn sleep patterns contribute to parental sleep deprivation, and many new parents want to establish routines early. Just realize that as your baby grows and develops over the next few months, so will their ability to sleep in longer stretches. Understanding how your baby sleeps will help you make healthy and informed sleep choices.^1,2,5

How Much Sleep Do Babies Need?

According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, babies aged 4 to 12 months should sleep 12 to 16 hours daily, including naps.⁴ Parents should work with, rather than against, their child’s developmental stages when prioritizing healthy baby sleep schedules.^1,3,4

Parents interested in sleep training can begin at about four to six months if their baby is growing and feeding well. Make sure to get the okay from your pediatrician before starting. Initiating sleep training may not be reasonable until about six months when a baby’s circadian rhythm is more developed. Circadian rhythm is the body’s natural tendency to sleep at night and be awake during daytime hours. On average, most babies are not neurologically developed enough to be “taught” to sleep before four months, but some of this depends on the child and your situation.^2,3,6,16,17

There are several approaches to sleep training, and while not necessary, studies show it can improve a baby’s sleep schedule and enable parents to get more quality sleep.^5,9,10

The benefits of healthy sleep are well-known in children and include improved:^4,7,8

• Attention
• Memory
• Behavior/mood
• Learning
• Emotional regulation
• Overall physical and mental health

Should I Wake My Baby To Feed?

The answer may depend on your baby’s age, their developmental stage, and whether they had any previous or current medical concerns. Generally, breastfed babies need to nurse eight to 12 times a day in the first month, while formula-fed infants will take about eight bottles daily. Feedings could be anywhere between two to three hours apart. Frequent feedings ensure adequate weight gain in newborns. With this in mind, you should wake your baby for feedings. As infants get older, from three to six months, talk to your healthcare provider about recommendations. Still, according to the AAP, healthy growing babies do not intentionally need to wake to feed.¹

A baby who goes home after a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admission may have strict rules on the maximum time between feedings. Babies with special health care needs may have different feeding regimens, and you should consult your physician.^11,12

When Do Babies Start Sleeping Through the Night?

Six hours of uninterrupted sleep is considered “sleeping through the night” for a baby.¹³ According to one study, 28%-57% of infants did not regularly sleep through the night.¹³ The conclusions do not necessarily mean infants continued to wake up every one to four hours, as you may expect from a newborn, but still, they did not sleep as long as parents may hope by one year.

However, some babies may sleep six hours at night by 3 to 4 months old. If your baby is growing, otherwise healthy, and still taking naps, this is not typically a cause for concern. Every baby is different, and several factors may affect how parents can reach the goal of sleeping through the night and when.^1,14,15

Helping Your Baby Fall Asleep

First, babies need a safe place to sleep, and not all products are created equally. Ensure that any sleeping equipment you use, including reused cribs, meets safety standards. The AAP has fervently recommended that babies sleep on their backs. You may know of the “Back is Best” campaign established to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).^1,15

• Helping your baby fall asleep depends on their age and developmental stage. Your approach to sleep time with a 2-week-old versus an 8-month-old will look quite different.
• However, some strategies to promote a healthy baby sleep schedule include the following:^1,14,16
• Respond to your baby’s sleep cues. Try putting them to bed when they are drowsy instead of already asleep.
• Talk in a quiet, soothing voice and keep the lights low.
• Try swaddling if it’s developmentally appropriate.
• Read to your baby before bedtime.
• Give your baby a gentle, relaxing bath and massage before bedtime.
• You may want your baby to sleep in the same room as you.
• Encourage awake periods and tummy time during the day.

Sleep Training

Sleep training involves slowly guiding your child into successfully self-soothing behaviors, promoting their ability to fall asleep independently at bedtime. If you plan to try sleep training, you may need to experiment with what works for your family. Some commonly known methods include:^6,9,17

• The cry-it-out method (CIO)
• The Ferber method, a graduated variation of the CIO method
• Bedtime fading, which involves gradually adjusting bedtime

Sleep is a vast and interesting topic, and there are several great resources available online aimed at helping parents establish positive, healthy newborn sleep schedules and routines for their children. Many parts of parenting are trial and error; what worked like a charm for one baby may do nothing for the next. Children are always keeping you on your toes, and getting a good night’s sleep ensures you are both ready for the next busy day.

From mucus plugs to amniotic fluid, blood loss during delivery to urinary catheters, birth can be a messy endeavor among bodily fluids you might not even be familiar with. As much as you cannot help but kiss your newborn, their skin may not appear perfectly pink and squeaky clean immediately after birth. One substance that may be present on your newborn is vernix caseosa. And while it may not seem the most hygienic, it has many beneficial properties for you and your baby.

Maybe you have seen photos of a newborn coated in a white covering, or maybe your baby had it, and you wondered what it was. Or perhaps you are completely unfamiliar with this substance. As you prepare to deliver, you may be curious about vernix, its function, and what to do with it on your baby’s skin.

What Is Vernix Caseosa?

Translated literally from Latin, vernix means “varnish,” and caseosa means “cheese.”¹ This cream-cheese-like substance can be found coating the skin of some newborns at birth. In other babies, it can be found only in skin folds and creases such as the armpits. You may also not notice any at all.²

What Does Vernix Look Like?

Vernix typically appears like a thick white covering or cream, like lotion, that has not been rubbed into the skin.²

Very premature babies may have less vernix visible on their skin because not much has been produced yet. Slightly premature babies often have the highest concentration because it is at its peak production and has not begun sloughing off into the amniotic fluid.²

Overdue babies may have a yellowish coating. They are also more likely to have no coating left, as it has all been washed into the amniotic fluid by the time they are born.²

Vernix can have a different appearance if the baby has a blood disorder or has experienced fetal distress. If newborns have their first bowel movement (meconium) before birth, their coating could appear stained green or black.²

When Does Vernix Develop?

It begins around the middle of the second trimester and peaks in the third. It remains on the skin of the baby until birth.²

What Is Vernix Made Of?

It is made primarily of water but contains fats and proteins essential for moisturizing and germ-fighting functions. Interestingly, the exact composition varies depending on gestational age, sex of the fetus, and even factors like maternal medications and lifestyle.¹

What Does Vernix Do and Why Is It Important?

Vernix has many functions during pregnancy, delivery, and even in the first week of a newborn’s life.

• Waterproofing: In utero, vernix waterproofs the baby’s skin so it does not wrinkle and swell like adult human skin.²
• Barrier: Vernix acts as a barrier between the mother’s vagina and the baby, thereby protecting the baby’s skin from any pathogens present in the vagina.¹ Its barrier properties also help protect the baby against losing too much water through evaporation once exposed to air.³
• Lubrication: Vernix can act as a vaginal lubricant during delivery, helping the baby progress more smoothly through the birth canal.¹
• Immunity: Some proteins in vernix help a baby fight off potential infections and even kill certain germs.¹ It may also assist in intestinal development and the gut microbiome.³
• Skin benefits: Vernix helps hydrate the skin and can accelerate wound healing. Its wound-healing properties apply to mom, too. If you experience perineal tearing from birth, your baby’s vernix may help you heal.²
• Temperature regulation: It is thought that vernix helps keep newborn babies warm by preventing heat loss before their first bath.³

Should You Leave Vernix on a Baby?

For years, the standard practice for nurses was to dry a newborn immediately and wipe all residue from their skin after birth. This drying and stimulating action was thought to encourage them to take their first breaths. Some people also viewed unbathed babies as unhygienic, so for decades, it was often removed by default. The practice of removing vernix is slowly changing as research, studies, and recommendations continue to demonstrate the benefits of leaving it in place.²

Research has shown that newborns whose vernix was left on had more well-hydrated skin.⁴ It has a higher water content than over-the-counter barrier creams, which may better moisturize the skin. Vernix also acidifies the skin’s surface, which helps fight off bacteria looking to multiply on the skin’s surface.² Besides adjusting the pH of your baby’s skin, vernix acts as a barrier or “second skin,” directly blocking germs and fighting them off.²

As a parent, it is your choice whether you decide to leave the vernix on your baby, but it may be beneficial to leave it. If left alone, it will naturally dissipate from the skin by around five days after birth, but it may remain in the creases for up to 10 days.²

The only time it may make sense to bathe your baby soon after birth for hygiene purposes is if they are stained with meconium or the baby’s first poop. If you would like to leave vernix on your baby’s skin, be sure to write this in your birth plan and communicate this wish in the delivery room so it does not get wiped away inadvertently. Also, be sure to mention that you would like to delay your baby’s first bath.⁵

Is It Okay if My Baby Is Born Without Vernix?

While there are many benefits to vernix caseosa, and it is usually best to leave it in place after birth, there is no cause for concern if you cannot see any on your baby.

The thickest vernix coating is usually found between 36 and 38 weeks of gestation. If your baby was born much before or after that, you may have missed their “peak” coating.⁵ If your baby was extremely preterm, theirs may not have yet been produced in significant quantities. If pregnancy continues beyond 36 to 38 weeks, vernix detaches from the baby’s skin and dissolves into the amniotic fluid. This makes full-term amniotic fluid whiter and less clear than earlier fluid.²

Finally, if none of these criteria explain your baby’s lack of vernix, it could have been mostly wiped off during the birth process. You can likely find remnants if you check your baby’s skin folds. But there are many reasons why you may not see any on your baby, and they still reap its benefits even if you cannot see evidence of it.

While cleaning your new baby before snuggling them may be tempting, vernix on your baby is designed to help them adjust to the outside world over the first few days of life. Try to leave it alone or rub it into their skin. It will be gone before you know it.

The first time you and your newborn lock eyes can be a joyous and overwhelming experience. That moment when they look at you with recognition in their eyes as they hear your voice for the first time in the outside world. But what can they see? Turns out not too much. Not for several weeks, anyway. Let’s explore your baby’s vision development and milestones to understand better how their vision works!

When Can Newborns See?

Your baby’s vision development will undergo many dramatic changes during the first year of life. But let us begin with those “fresh out of the womb” eyes. What can your brand-new newborn see?

Because your newborn’s retinas are still developing after birth, your newborn’s eyes are very sensitive to light and can see things more clearly when up close (nearsighted).² Their peripheral vision is more developed than their central vision, so your baby may turn their head to one side to see you better.¹ Don’t worry if you see them glaring at you from the corner of their eye!

When Do Babies Make Eye Contact?

Big things happen to your baby’s eyesight after the first month. Around six weeks of life, your baby will start making direct eye contact with you. Your little one will begin to respond to smiling, non-friendly, or silly faces visually. Eye contact is an essential baby milestone.³

Early intervention may be recommended if your little one is not making direct eye contact with you by eight weeks. These services will guide you in strengthening visual communication and stimulating your baby’s eyesight.³ However, some pediatricians may recommend a wait-and-see approach.

During this early period of vision development, you may also notice that your baby’s eyes occasionally cross or look misaligned as they try to focus on something or someone. This intermittent misalignment (or strabismus) is normal and should resolve by around four months. If one of your baby’s eyes constantly turns inward or outward from the nose, talk with your pediatrician.⁴

Eye Contact Beyond Three Months

Your newborn will be fascinated by looking at your face by 3 months old. They will be interested in different facial expressions and fix their gaze on you!³ Entice and encourage this visual exploration with them by making funny facial expressions, making different noises, and changing the pitch of your voice. By this time, your baby can also track or follow an object as it moves around their line of sight. Tracking is another vital baby milestone.⁴ By eight to 10 months, your little one will be able to recognize you and anyone close to them visually before a voice is heard.³

How Far Can Babies See?

Newborns are nearsighted. During the few weeks of life, your baby will best see objects or faces up to 12 inches from their face. The world beyond that is a blur of light and dark, shapes and patterns. Objects up to 3 feet away may be of interest by one month.² Soon, your baby will “discover” their hands and reach for objects of interest within their line of sight.

As the retina matures, distance vision rapidly improves. By four months, your baby may find you across the room, stare out a window, or be mesmerized by wall decorations. As babies begin to crawl, their eye-hand-foot-body coordination and depth perception will improve dramatically.¹

When Do Babies See Color?

A baby’s world is primarily black and white for the first two months. However, studies have shown that even newborns can detect highly saturated colors like red shortly after birth. As the retina develops, more colors and hues are seen. By three months, your baby’s retinas are developed enough to detect the primary colors of red, yellow, and blue.⁵ Their world is much more colorful!

By five months, your baby’s color vision is comparable to an adult’s as their eyes work to see a full spectrum of colors.¹ However, complete color discrimination is not fully developed until adolescence.⁵

Eye and Vision Warning Signs

Your baby’s vision development is essential. Occasionally, vision or eye symptoms that require investigation may arise. Consult your pediatrician if you notice any of the following:⁶

• Constant tearing or mucus dripping from the eyes
• Clouding of the lens of the eye
• Constantly misaligned eyes
• Extreme sensitivity to light
• Reddening of the white part of the eye
• Reddened bumps on the eyelids
• Swollen eyelids or crusting of eyelashes

Understanding your baby’s vision development and milestones will guide you in providing a visually stimulating environment. Do not hesitate to speak with your pediatrician or ophthalmologist with any concerns!