After having my two kids, I wasn’t as prepared for the amount of hair loss I would experience. I knew about postpartum hair loss and that it would likely happen to me, but I wasn’t expecting how much or how long it would take for my hair to grow back. It’s been two years since I had my last child, my daughter. Now that I’m finally feeling more like myself again, I’m ready to prioritize my health, needs, and wants. It’s time to make time for me. Last year, I committed to a full body/mind health and wellness journey. Now, this year, I’m including my hair.

Why my hair?

Currently, I have very thin, fine hair. My hair has always been fine, even when I was younger. But back then, I had a lot more of it. I even remember sitting at the hair salon when I was in middle school and high school, and the hairdresser told me on more than one occasion that I had “so much hair.” But as I’ve gotten older, it has thinned out. And once I had kids, it’s as if the thinning-out process went into hyperspeed! I feel like I barely have much left.

The hair loss wasn’t too bad after the birth of my first child. However, after having my second, it was way more noticeable to me. I’ve tried not to put too much thought or emphasis on it because I remember that I need to be kinder to myself. I’ve grown, birthed, and am caring for two beautiful children. I always tell mothers that they are beautiful just the way they are, and I am beautiful, too. Hair is just hair, right?

But as the months and now years have passed of me putting myself last on my priority list, my confidence also went away. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman I was anymore. I learned it’s okay to want better for myself and do things that make me feel more confident. Last year, my goal was to get stronger, and I did! I lost 15 pounds and gained muscle. This year, I am continuing to focus on my health and wellness. I’m now including my hair in my health journey, too. Here’s what I’m doing for my “New Hair, New You” Renewal Plan. I’m starting it with Viviscal.

My “New Hair, New You” Renewal Plan

This May, my family and I are going to Maui! Maui has a very special place in our hearts because that is where my husband and I married nine years ago. I want to look and feel better than I did on my wedding day, so I am continuing to do my workouts five days a week, keep track of my diet/macros, and I’m now starting to use Viviscal to help me get fuller, thicker hair from the inside out. My hair has been one of my least favorite features, especially after experiencing postpartum hair loss, so now I’m doing something about it. Here’s what I’m using and doing for my new hair renewal for healthier postpartum hair.

Hair Supplements

I am taking my hair renewal plan seriously and am doing more than just focusing on what I’m doing to my hair and putting on my hair. Healthy hair starts from within. I’m not only improving my diet, drinking more water, and taking my vitamins, but I’m also taking Viviscal™ Hair Growth Supplements.

Viviscal Hair Growth Supplements

I recently learned Viviscal is the #1 selling hair growth supplement in the U.S.+ After researching, I like that they are 100% drug-free and have been proven to improve hair thickness and reduce shedding within 3-6 months.* In a clinical study, 92% of women saw thicker hair, a 32% increase in terminal hairs, and a nearly 39% decrease in hair shedding/loss in just three months. Amazing! Three months is the perfect amount of time for me to get the results I want before our trip in May. I also like that Viviscal™ Hair Growth Supplements are suitable for all types of hair, so I don’t have to worry about whether or not it’s right for me. (Of course, consult your doctor or health professional if you have questions before starting a new supplement or medication.)

Other supplements I am taking are:

• Viviscal Hair Self-Care Supplements – nutrition formulated with collagen, keratin, and amino acids to support healthy hair structure and deliver nutritional building blocks, which are essential for healthy-looking hair
• Viviscal Scalp Nourish Supplements – nutrition formulated with hyaluronic acid, biotin, and antioxidants to support a healthy scalp environment by delivering essential nutrients to nourish and fortify root follicles, providing a strong foundation for beautiful, healthy hair to grow

Hair Products

Now that I know Viviscal understands the science of healthy hair growth and is 100% drug-free, I’ve decided also to use their entire line of hair products to help me reach my goal of having fuller, thicker-looking hair. Here’s my new hair routine:

Viviscal Exfoliating Scalp Scrub

Healthy hair starts with a healthy scalp. Massaging and stimulating our scalp is good for encouraging healthy hair growth. Viviscal Exfoliating Scalp Scrub gently exfoliates and removes dead cells, buildup, and dirt from the scalp. This helps support a healthy scalp environment, resulting in less breakage and fuller-looking hair. I’m using this scrub once a week on my scalp before shampooing and conditioning to have a healthy hair foundation.

Viviscal Thickening Shampoo

Selecting a shampoo formulated to nourish and volumize your hair is helpful. I’m using Viviscal’s Thickening Shampoo because it strengthens and reduces breakage* while gently cleansing and stimulating the scalp. I like that it is safe on color-treated hair because I have fine, thin hair with highlights and lowlights. I’m massaging this from my scalp to the ends of my hair. I used to wash my hair every other day, but I want to ensure I don’t dry out my scalp or hair. This is why I’m now stretching out my hair wash days to twice a week. (*Use in conjunction with Viviscal Strengthening Conditioner.)

Viviscal Strengthening Conditioner

I’m using Viviscal’s Strengthening Conditioner with their Thickening Shampoo. This conditioner nourishes and hydrates your hair without weighing it down. This is what I need with my thin, fine hair. It’s easy for my hair to get weighed down, but using a little bit of this does the trick! I use this every time I wash my hair after shampooing, but I only apply this on the ends of my hair. It helps strengthen the ends and reduces breakage.* (*Use in conjunction with Viviscal Thickening Shampoo.)

Viviscal Thickening Serum

After showering, I softly dry my hair with my towel and gently brush through my damp hair. Then I apply 2-3 pumps of Viviscal Thickening Serum and coat my hair from mid-length to the ends. I like this leave-in treatment because it eliminates frizz* and is lightweight, so it doesn’t leave my hair greasy. You can also apply it to dry hair! This is great since I use this on my hair almost every day. (*Use in conjunction with Viviscal Thickening Shampoo and Strengthening Conditioner.)

Viviscal Volumizing Dry Shampoo

Now that I’m stretching my hair-washing days to twice a week, a good dry shampoo is essential. I’m using Viviscal Volumizing Dry Shampoo as a texturizing spray and heat protectant after I dry my hair. I use it daily to remove oil from my scalp and hair and refresh and restore its volume. This helps me go longer between washes, leaves my hair looking fuller, and gives it long-lasting freshness. I also love that it’s fortified with Keratin and Marine Collagen. These will protect my hair from heat damage caused by the sun and heated hair tools.

18 Hair Practices & Tips

Now that you know what products I’ll be using for my new hair renewal, here are some practices I’ll also implement. I recommend these for healthier postpartum hair:

1. Brush your hair before showering – distribute the natural oils from your hair to the ends and remove tangles before getting it wet.
2. Wash hair less often – over-shampooing can strip natural oils from your hair and scalp and leave it dry. This can make it more prone to breakage.
3. Don’t take extremely hot showers – the heat from the hot water can irritate your scalp and weaken your hair.
4. Do a quick cold-water rinse in the shower – turn the water to cold after shampooing and conditioning to seal the cuticles shut and maintain healthy hair.
5. Condition the ends of your hair – when conditioning, apply it on mid-shaft to the ends of your hair to limit weighing down your hair.
6. Don’t rub your hair with a towel – rubbing your hair with a towel can cause tangles and breakage. Instead, squeeze it dry and let the towel absorb the water.
7. Don’t go to bed with wet hair – hair is more vulnerable to breakage when wet, so dry your hair before bed.
8. Massage your scalp daily and exfoliate your scalp weekly – this can help keep your scalp healthy, which creates a healthy environment for your hair.
9. Limit the use of heated hair tools – a lot of damage is done to hair when heated tools are used frequently.
10. Reduce heat setting on heated tools – instead of 400+ degrees, use hair tools that allow you to select the temperature and select 320 degrees or less.
11. Use a heat protectant before styling – always apply a heat protectant on your hair before blow drying or using heat to style your hair.
12. Don’t do too tight of hairstyles – wearing tight hairstyles and wearing it up frequently can cause hair to break.
13. If you have fine hair, don’t use elastics – this can cause hair breakage.
14. Eat a well-balanced diet – a healthy diet with B vitamins, protein, zinc, and essential fatty acids helps grow healthier hair.
15. Drink plenty of water – staying hydrated helps keep your body and hair hydrated.
16. Sleep on a silk – swap your cotton pillowcase for a silk pillowcase. Silk reduces the amount of friction between your hair and the fabric, which helps reduce breakage. Put your hair up in a loose top knot with a silk scrunchie.
17. Trim your hair every 2 months – you want your hair to stay healthy and not break off at the ends. Trim the damaged ends and keep the length to continue growing strong, healthy hair.
18. Fewer hair processing appointments – limit the number of times you process your hair with dyes, perms, and relaxers.

Improve Your Hair with Viviscal

With this hair regimen using Viviscal products and these hair practices, I should achieve fuller, thicker, and healthy-looking hair by summer! I’m incorporating healthy habits into my life, and Viviscal naturally fits in with my wellness goals and New Year’s resolutions to take better care of myself. If you are postpartum or a mom with littles and want to work on your health, join me on this healthy hair journey to get results when warmer weather hits!

+ Based on Circana MULO unit sales for L52 wks ending 6/23/23.

* The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated these statements. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Sponsored partner: Viviscal

After I delivered my first daughter, I could barely sit. I had second-degree tearing from birth and had many stitches in place. It burned when I peed. My whole bottom ached so badly, and it felt like my insides were falling out of me. It hurt to laugh, walk, and use the bathroom. I cried and worried I would never feel normal again. I also wondered how I could best perform perineal care to soothe my pain and heal well.

Your perineum, the diamond-shaped area consisting of your urethra, vagina, and anus, is a particularly sensitive area both physically and emotionally.¹⁸ Injury to this area can be painful and upsetting. Fortunately, with good medical attention and home follow-up perineal care, you can feel like yourself again. Here, we will review vaginal tears from birth and how to help your perineal heal postpartum.

What Is a Perineal Tear?

A perineal tear refers to trauma that occurs to the female genitalia during a vaginal birth.¹ Most commonly, the vagina tears toward the rectum, but a tear can extend from the vagina in any direction: toward the urethra, out to either side, or toward the rectum.¹ These tears happen because the perineal tissue has not adequately stretched before the delivery of the baby’s head. The vaginal opening is too tight or small for the baby’s head to fit through, so a tear increases the diameter.¹

Perineal tearing can occur spontaneously, meaning the vaginal tissue tears on its own as you push out the baby. Alternatively, a provider may perform an episiotomy or a small cut in the vaginal opening to help get the baby out faster or prevent a worse natural tear in a different location. Episiotomies are increasingly controversial.²

On average, women who have a vaginal birth have an 85% chance of experiencing a perineal tear. However, tearing is most common during first births, and the likelihood decreases with each birth.¹ This held for me, as I did not experience any tearing with my second delivery.

In addition to varying in the direction of tearing, perineal tearing can vary in the depth of tissue it extends into.²

Degrees of Perineal Tearing

Perineal tearing is classified based on how deep the injury extends into the vaginal muscle and beyond. There are four degrees of tearing:^2,19

• First-degree: Only the vaginal mucosa and perineal skin are involved in a first-degree tear, and the repair may or may not require stitches.
• Second-degree: A second-degree tear involves both the vaginal mucosa and perineal muscles. It requires stitches or surgery for repair.²
• Third-degree: Lacerations that involve the anal sphincter muscles are called a third-degree tear. Third-degree tears can be further classified into what percentage of the anal muscle is affected.¹ These tears require surgical repair in the delivery room or operating room.²
• Fourth-degree: A fourth-degree tear extends from the vaginal skin through to the rectal epithelium. It requires advanced repair, usually in an operating room.¹

If you had a vaginal tear during childbirth, you might wonder how long it takes to heal. Depending on the severity, most perineal tears significantly improve within two weeks. Any stitches for perineal tears typically dissolve by your first postpartum appointment at four to six weeks.³

After my first birth, my stitches did not dissolve by my six-week postpartum check-up, so my provider had to remove them. The thought of it was worse than the experience of it, but it was pretty painless! And once the stitches were gone, I started to feel much better. My provider suspected they were possibly causing some tugging that enhanced my pain and soreness.

Possible Complications Following a Vaginal Tear

Vaginal tearing can sometimes cause complications after giving birth, depending on the severity of the tear, the repairs completed, and the perineal care afterward. Some possible complications of perineal tearing include the following:

Infection

In one hospital audit of women who received stitches for their perineal tears during birth, 5%-11% developed an infection. Infection of a perineal tear is more common if a doctor performs an episiotomy, if your water is broken for a long time, or if you have an instrumental delivery with forceps or a vacuum.⁴

Symptoms of infection of a perineal tear include:⁴

• Perineal pain
• A reopening of the wound
• Purulent (pus-like) discharge.

Contact your provider immediately if you think you have a perineal tear infection.

Bleeding

It can be difficult to know the source of vaginal bleeding postpartum. Some amount of vaginal bleeding after birth is normal due to lochia or shedding of the remaining uterine lining.⁵ However, significant amounts of blood loss, whether from the uterus or a vaginal tear, can be concerning because you could be at risk for postpartum hemorrhage.⁶

Most of the time, once your perineal tear gets stitched, the bleeding will stop. If bleeding persists, your provider may pack the wound to apply pressure. If the bleeding still doesn’t stop, your provider may administer local medications to encourage your blood to clot at the site of the tear.⁷

If a large amount of blood accumulates within the vaginal or vulvar tissue, you could develop a hematoma or a collection of blood under the surface of the skin, similar to a bruise.⁸

Chronic Pain

Anywhere from 6.1% to 11.5% of women experience chronic pain after childbirth. One report showed that C-section mothers report less chronic pain than those who had vaginal births.⁹ Lingering perineal pain can depend on the degree of vaginal tearing as well as other factors, such as having an operative vaginal delivery with forceps or a vacuum.^9,10 Persistent vaginal pain can also contribute to painful intercourse when you resume having sex postpartum.¹¹

Incontinence

Damage to the pelvic, vaginal, and rectal muscles can sometimes lead to incontinence. This means it is possible to leak urine, stool, or gas after experiencing vaginal tearing during birth.¹¹ Pelvic floor physical therapy can help regain control of these muscles after perineal damage.^15,20

Scar Tissue

Most of the time, once your vaginal tears heal, they are completely gone and will not cause any more issues. However, you can develop scar tissue.¹¹ Scar tissue can also be called granulation tissue, which means the wound “over-heals.” It can become swollen or red and may bleed. Usually, this resolves independently, but if you are experiencing difficulty with granulation tissue, you should seek evaluation by your medical provider.^12,21

Perineal Care at Home

Besides caring for your baby, you must care for your body, particularly your bottom. From managing pain and cleansing to voiding and stooling, here are some tips for taking care of your perineum postpartum:

Hygiene

Keep your bottom as clean and dry as possible. You will likely experience lochia, or bleeding and discharge from the vagina, for four to six weeks postpartum. Wear a pad during this time, and change it often. Do not use a tampon, a menstrual cup, or anything else to “catch” this blood and discharge, as this can cause infection or further damage to your vagina.¹³

Buy Here

You can clean the outer vulva with mild soap and water in the shower. Do not put any cleaning products inside the vagina, and avoid using anything abrasive or heavily scented.¹⁶

When you change your pad or use the bathroom, apply a witch hazel pad or gel to the sore or stinging area. This may help relieve burning in the area. You can also use an ice pack.¹⁴

Urinating

In my experience, urine can cause stinging and burning to vaginal tears while they are fresh. One of my postpartum nurses taught me to spray warm water from a squeeze bottle at the vagina while passing urine. This dilutes the urine and lessens the burning sensation.¹⁴

Bowel Movements

Bowel movements can be difficult to pass in the early postpartum days and weeks. Avoid bearing down too hard in an attempt to pass stool. This can cause hemorrhoids and increase perineal muscular pain and soreness. Keep your bowel movements soft and frequent by increasing fluid and fiber intake. You can also talk to your provider about whether a stool softener might be helpful for you.¹⁴

After a bowel movement, avoid aggressively wiping. Instead, consider rinsing the area with a perineal spray bottle or briefly dunking in a sitz bath. A sitz bath is a shallow bath that sits atop the toilet opening. It allows just your perineum to soak for a few minutes. This can relieve pain and help with cleansing.¹⁴

Pain

You are probably wondering how to relieve pain from vaginal tearing and stitches. Avoid sitting in the same position for long periods (easier said than done with around-the-clock nursing and holding a newborn!), and avoid sitting or putting pressure directly on your perineal wounds. Consider sitting on a soft, padded cushion or pillow, or even a donut-shaped pillow, to relieve pressure on the area.¹⁴

Talk to your provider about the use of medications and ointments for pain postpartum. Some people experience relief from muscle soreness by taking ibuprofen. Others like to apply a numbing spray, and some use hemorrhoid cream.¹⁴

Weakness and Incontinence

If you are experiencing pelvic floor weakness, pain, or incontinence, consider doing Kegel exercises to retrain and strengthen your muscles. To perform a Kegel, pretend you are clenching your vagina around a marble and lifting it. Hold for three seconds or as long as possible, then release and repeat 10 to 15 times. You can do a set of Kegels multiple times throughout the day.¹⁴

Products To Help With Your Perineal Care

When preparing to care for your perineum at home, there are some supplies and medications that may be helpful to have on hand. From ways to manage postpartum vaginal bleeding to tools that help with pain and cleansing, here are some items that may help with perineal care postpartum.

Adult Diapers

Many women rave about wearing adult diapers like these for postpartum vaginal bleeding. I did not like the idea of taking off my pants every time I wanted to take off and put on a new diaper. I stuck with regular menstrual pads. You may want to have both on hand.

Pads

There is no doubt that you need postpartum pads for at-home perineal care, and you will go through many because you should change them frequently. My personal favorites were basic, unscented, wingless pads like these. You may already have a go-to brand or style; most will work fine.

Ice Packs

You will want to have absorbent pad-style ice packs to apply to your perineum to relieve pain from tearing and reduce swelling. My hospital sent me home with lots of extras. If your hospital does not supply excess ice packs, these are the ones I used. Some women prefer to make “padsicles” by applying witch hazel cooling gel and crushed ice to a pad and sticking it in the freezer.

Witch Hazel Pads

My hospital supplied me with a good supply of witch hazel pads, but I stocked up on these when I ran out. Witch hazel is thought to relieve pain and reduce inflammation in the perineum postpartum.¹⁷

Spray Bottle

A perineal spray bottle can be useful as an alternative to wiping with toilet paper after using the bathroom. It can also help to spray water toward your vagina while urinating to relieve the burning caused by urine hitting your vaginal tears. This spray bottle is great because it can be used more easily upside down.

Sitz Bath

A sitz bath sits on top of your toilet seat and holds a shallow amount of water to soak your bottom after using the bathroom. It can help cleanse or relieve some swelling and pain related to perineal tears. You can also add Epsom salt or magnesium to your sitz bath to help relieve pain.

Perineal Spray

A close friend gifted me this Earth Mama Perineal Spray and Balm kit at my baby shower. I loved having it on hand postpartum, providing cooling relief to my second-degree tears.

Medications

In addition to the supplies you may want on hand for postpartum perineal care, there are some medications you may need and should have in advance. As always, talk to your provider before taking any medications, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Numbing Spray

Some women also like to use a medicated cooling and numbing spray containing benzocaine to relieve some of the pain and soreness from their stitches.

Stool Softeners

Different stool softeners and laxatives work for different people. My provider recommended Colace for me postpartum, and I took it a few times when I needed relief from postpartum constipation.

Hydrocortisone

If you experience hemorrhoids in addition to your perineal tearing, you may want to apply hydrocortisone cream to shrink them and relieve any pain or itching they are causing.

Ibuprofen

Ibuprofen is good to have on hand and works great to relieve pain and soreness related to perineal tearing. Check with your provider before taking it, as it can put you at greater risk for hemorrhage.

Dealing with vaginal tearing and performing perineal care can be daunting on top of taking care of a newborn. It is best to be prepared with supplies for perineal care in case you need them postpartum. It can feel like a lot of steps just to pee in the early postpartum days and weeks, but taking care of your perineum postpartum will soon become second nature and aid in healing, so you do not have to do all these extra steps for long!

Many mothers are led to believe that once the baby is here and greets us earthside, it must mean the journey is over for us, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. After you have the baby, the “fourth trimester” starts.⁵ And it can be a doozy. The fourth trimester is the most challenging part of growing and having a baby. It’s a total shift in how you’ve lived your life for the past nine months. Right after birth, your estrogen and progesterone levels drop dramatically.¹ With your hormones all over the place, along with the physical and emotional act of giving birth, it can knock you down on your knees, leading to postpartum rage.

What Is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage is when you experience irritability, anger, frustration, or fits of rage after giving birth as you adjust to having a new baby in your life.² Mothers may describe “postpartum rage” as seemingly coming from nowhere, and it leaves them feeling depleted and shameful or guilty afterward. It can occur when your expectations of motherhood (that you will be joyful and positive about your mothering journey) don’t align with the reality and challenges of parenting.^2,3

It’s important to know you’re not alone in feeling those feelings of “postpartum rage” during this rough period. People often talk about postpartum anxiety or depression, but while there is some crossover with things like irritability or changes in mood (which form part of those diagnoses), it’s not necessarily about feelings of depression or anxiety. Instead, you experience outbursts, anger, and frustration. It follows with guilt and shame for experiencing postpartum rage.²

What Are the Symptoms of Postpartum Rage?

The symptoms of postpartum rage may include:^2,6

• Uncontrollable temper or intense anger and frustration
• Screaming or swearing at others more than normal
• A physical expression of anger, such as punching or throwing objects
• Feelings associated with depression, such as sadness and loneliness
• Dwelling on things that make you upset for longer than normal
• Being unable to improve your mood on your own
• Experiencing violent thoughts or urges
• Feeling a flood of emotions, such as shame, after an episode

Although you may be experiencing these symptoms, not much on the outside may indicate there’s a problem. Sure, there are the bags under your eyes from lack of sleep. You may be short and sometimes rude with your words. But that isn’t uncommon for a new mom.⁷ After all, you may still be recovering from birth and are caring for a newborn. While you may have tried to prepare yourself for this postpartum experience, you cannot truly be ready for the reality of it.

It’s important to note that symptoms or signs of postnatal rage could also signal things like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or another postpartum mood disorder.^2,6 So, seek support if you notice any other changes in your mood, well-being, or ability to cope. You should also get help if these symptoms are impacting your bond with your baby or causing suicidal feelings or thoughts of harming your baby.³

Postpartum Rage Is Not Uncommon

Many women don’t realize that postpartum rage is common.^2,6 However, mothers may be scared to talk about it, experience it, and explore what is bubbling under the surface. As mentioned, our hormones have been on the largest rollercoaster known to man for the past nine months. The world expects us to return to normal, drop everything, and become the ultimate #1 mom. Sometimes, it feels like the world forgets we moms are human beings who may have difficulty adjusting to our new life. What about seeing us as people who have gone through something intense? Yes, it’s incredible and something we are grateful for, but it’s a massive mental, physical, and emotional change in our lives. Perhaps we, too, need to be comforted and treated as we recover.

Birth can be a beautiful thing, and it is a beautiful thing. There is nothing like finally meeting a healthy baby after a long time of unknowns and worry. However, I recognized that a lot of my postpartum rage came from not being recognized as a woman who just went through hell to meet her baby. Don’t get me wrong; “Mom” is a great title. But we are still individuals with needs to meet. That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

You Are Not Alone

There are also many postpartum scenarios women deal with. Postpartum is not a one-size-fits-all, and it doesn’t affect everyone the same. Some mothers have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility. Does that make their postpartum journey any less than? Not even close. Postpartum rage can be much harder to deal with in those situations. Without a saving grace, it’s even harder to go on and hold in some of that rage while continuing your everyday life. Your hormones are still there, your feelings are valid, and the postpartum emotions can become unbearable in these situations. It’s important to know that you’re not alone.

The “fourth trimester” is an important time for you, and the people around you must know that you need care, compassion, and support. It’s a time to love and nurture your baby — but also be loved and nurtured yourself. You are not any less of a mom if you’re experiencing sadness and rage or not feeling yourself. Of course, you should be thankful for what you have, but you can also acknowledge what you’ve been through. You are starting your new role as a mother; just don’t forget about the role you played before this new life.

What To Do and Treatments for Postpartum Rage

If you find yourself feeling intense rage postpartum, prioritize getting help. There are several treatment options, so it’s best to talk to your doctor to determine the best route for you. Here are some of the different options:²

• Support groups: Receiving self-help advice and meeting other mothers going through the same experiences may help validate your feelings. You can join a support group that meets online or in person.
• Talk therapy: You may consider going to talk therapy with a trained counselor or psychologist to discuss your experiences and learn coping techniques for anger and other emotions.
• Medication and/or hospitalization: When necessary, medication or hospitalization may be needed temporarily to help improve a mother’s overall state of mind.

Resources for Postpartum Rage

If you or someone you know is experiencing bouts of postpartum rage and needs more help and information, consider reaching out to one of these resources:

• Postpartum Support International (PSI): PSI offers online support groups, teletherapy, a helpline, online professional training, and other services.
  • Phone or text crisis line: 1-800-944-4773
• The Bloom Foundation: This organization offers free peer-to-peer support group calls on Zoom calls led by trained postpartum advocate facilitators.
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): This mental health organization is dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.
  • Phone helpline: 800-950-6264
  • Text “Helpline” to 62640
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: This organization offers free 24/7 helplines for people in a crisis who may be considering taking their lives.
  • Call or text: 988

Above all else, you’re not alone in these uncharted waters. You are a part of a community of moms who have the same feelings postpartum as you do. There are many of us out there, and we all need to stick together in the roughest times, knowing we’ll get through this. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to love and care for the mother of that child.

Almost every breastfeeding mother has a time when they need to pump, store, and prepare breast milk for their baby. For example, if you have to go back to work and want to continue breastfeeding, if you want your partner to help with a feeding, or if you have to run errands. It’s any time you must be away from your little one for several hours. This is why pumping your breast milk can be very convenient and sometimes necessary.

As a postpartum doula, I have helped many clients who have often needed advice and assistance on how to pump and store, and sometimes, preparing breast milk isn’t done correctly. I wanted to share some tips below to answer questions about correctly storing and preparing your breast milk. Hopefully, these tips will make this process a lot easier!

How To Collect Breast Milk

There are a multitude of breast pumps available on the market. Make sure to do your research to find out what pump will work best for you to express milk. If you are unsure how to use your pump, read the instructions and follow the suggestions. It is essential to know how to use your pump before actually using it. If you are unsure or have questions, ask your lactation consultant for assistance. Once you’ve chosen a breast pump, you can take these steps to collect breast milk:

1. Ensure Everything Is Clean

The first thing you should do is wash your hands with soap and water. Then, wash the bottles and breast pump parts in hot, soapy water. Some people boil water and place the pump parts and bottles to sterilize. Others use their dishwasher since the temperature it reaches helps sanitize, but this depends on the pump.^1,8 Just make sure that the rest of the dishes are pre-rinsed. You don’t want leftovers on them — see tips for properly cleaning a breast pump.

NOTE: Do NOT wash the tubing in a dishwasher or sterilize it in any machine. This can cause water to get into the tubing. This isn’t good because water can get into the machine and break it.

You want the parts to air dry, so lay them on a clean towel or paper towel. You can also use a drying rack. Note that you do not have to sanitize your pump parts every use. Between using them, you can hand wash with soapy hot water. The CDC recommends you sanitize the pieces once a day to ensure “extra germ” removal.¹ Sanitizing is most important for infants under 2 months old, those with a weakened immune system, and infants born prematurely.¹ Once the parts are clean, you can assemble your pump.

2. Check the Size of Your Breast Shields

When you are ready to start pumping, ensure you have the correct size breast shields so your nipple fits comfortably. Having the right shield size is so important for successful pumping. The standard kit most families purchase comes with one or two different size options. However, there are various shields you can buy separately. Most of my clients experience that the shield the kit comes with is too small. Make sure to check if you need to purchase a larger size. Medela makes breast shields to fit all nipple sizes, from small to extra large.

3. Start Pumping!

Find a quiet and comfortable place and start pumping. Work to find a comfortable cycle speed and suction level. A pumping “session” should end when your breasts feel empty and expressed milk begins to slow down. For every mother, the amount of time it takes to pump will vary but is commonly seen to be about 10-15 minutes.⁴

How To Store Breast Milk

To store your milk, pour it into breast milk collection bottles or disposable bags designed specifically for breast milk. The bottle must be a clean, capped glass or hard plastic, BPA-free container.⁹

Breast milk storage bags might tear, leak, and contaminate more easily than hard-sided containers. So, place the bags in a hard plastic food storage container with a tightly sealed lid for extra protection. Even though disposable bags are made for breast milk, these things still happen. I have seen several mothers cry over their spilled milk, so carefully store it. To easily find the oldest bag of stored breast milk, check out Milkies’ The Freeze.

Again, seal containers tightly to prevent any leaking. Write the date and time on a piece of tape on the bag or bottle — this way, you know which is the oldest since you want to use the oldest milk first. Place the containers in the back of the refrigerator or freezer, where the temperature is the coolest.² If you don’t have access to a fridge or freezer, store the milk temporarily in an insulated cooler.

I recommend freezing your breast milk in 2- to 5-ounce portions. Small amounts thaw faster, so this way, you waste less milk, save more time, and avoid over-feeding your baby. Many parents want their babies to finish the whole bottle since they don’t want to waste a drop, but you do not want to overfeed your baby. Also, leave extra room at the top of the container or bag because the liquid will expand when frozen. You don’t want the bottle or bag to burst!

To further assist you in storing breast milk, here’s a helpful chart to follow:

You can also read these tips for creating a breast milk freezer stash. However, if your baby was born premature, these guidelines might differ slightly. You should check with your healthcare provider for the recommended storage guidelines for your specific situation.

How To Prepare Breast Milk

Once again, hand hygiene is always important, so wash your hands before preparing breast milk. When you are ready to prepare the breast milk, you want to gently swirl the warmed bottle to mix the milk layers.⁷ Do NOT shake the milk. That damages the milk.¹⁰

If your breast milk has been stored in your fridge, you can use a bottle warmer or place it under running warm water in a cup or bowl full of warm water.⁷ Do NOT microwave your breast milk or heat it quickly on the stove. This also damages the composition of the milk and can create hot spots that can scald your baby’s mouth.⁷ No fun.

If you’re trying to thaw your frozen breast milk, first move your milk to your fridge the night before. You can hold the bag or bottle under warm running water if you need it sooner. It will take longer to thaw and warm than a cool/cold bag of breast milk stored in the fridge. When you have a hungry baby, that might not be ideal. Before feeding your baby, make sure to test the breast milk’s temperature.⁷

FAQs About Breast Milk and Feeding

Here are answers to other common questions that moms have about feeding:

When Should I Introduce the Bottle?

Lactation consultants recommend not introducing a bottle until breastfeeding has been established and is going well.¹¹ I’ve heard many times from different lactation consultants to introduce a bottle. Some said three to four weeks, while others said longer than six weeks. I usually recommend starting slowly and introducing one bottle at two to three weeks. From there, you can slowly build up.

I’ve seen many babies only want the boob because their parents never introduced the bottle until later, and I have had other babies only want the bottle because it was introduced too soon and for too many feedings. When it comes down to it, the most critical factor in introducing a bottle is ensuring that the breastfeeding relationship is established and the baby is breastfeeding well.⁵

How Should a Working Mom Store Milk?

If you’re returning to work, you will want to begin pumping to store milk one to two weeks before you return.¹² Many working moms use the fresh milk they pump while at work for feedings the next day. They bring home the fresh milk and refrigerate it for the next day’s feedings. So Friday’s milk is used for Monday. You want to save your frozen breast milk for emergencies.

What Should Pumped Milk Look Like?

It is normal for pumped milk to vary in color, consistency, and scent depending on your diet.⁹ When you pump your milk and let it sit for a little while, it will separate into layers. The cream will rise to the top and be a lighter color.

Can I Refreeze My Breast Milk?

This is another major question I get asked often. The answer is no, you can’t. Do NOT refreeze. Once it’s frozen and thawed, you must use it within 24 hours (which is how long it is safe in the refrigerator.)³

Can I Combine My Breast Milk?

Many people wonder if they can combine breast milk when storing it. Mixing expressed breast milk can only be done if freshly expressed milk is cooled before being combined with other cooled breast milk. You do not want to add warm milk to already cooled milk, which could rewarm the older milk.⁶

So there it is! My advice on how to properly collect, store, and prepare your breast milk. I hope it helps you have an easier time with feeding!

Having a baby is one of a few events that change your life forever. The postpartum care period of pregnancy, sometimes called the fourth trimester, extends from the birth of your baby to 12 weeks.⁹ After giving birth, a woman goes through emotional, mental, and physical changes as her body returns to a pre-pregnancy state. Postpartum care should be a priority for all women; it comes with its own do’s and don’ts. Let’s dive into some things to avoid after giving birth.

Postpartum Care and What Not To Do After Giving Birth

When a new baby arrives, family adjustments soon follow. Women, however, carry a different load; no matter how much support you have, your body needs to heal, and that’s where postpartum care comes in. The following list includes things NOT to do after giving birth, considering your physical, mental, and emotional health.

1. Don’t Have an Open-Door Policy

Something about the birth of a new child brings all your friends and family out of the woodwork. However, laying some ground rules and limiting long calls and visits is a good idea during those first few days to weeks postpartum. You need to rest, too, and you may be establishing breastfeeding. It is okay to keep interactions brief during this time because participating in long conversations or staying awake when you could be resting can lead to exhaustion.

2. Don’t Avoid Pain Medications

Some moms worry about taking too much pain medication after giving birth. They may worry about transferring medicine to the baby via breast milk or feeling groggy. While some women may not need pain medication, others who have experienced a tear, episiotomy, C-section, or traumatic birth may find pain medicine to be their best friend for a while.

Staying on top of your pain is an essential part of postpartum care. When women forgo pain medications, the intensity can complicate recovery, making it unbearable to move.^2,3,8,10

Your healthcare provider will typically discuss pain management before hospital discharge. Staying on top of scheduled medication doses during those first few days can positively impact your healing.

3. Don’t Skip the Stool Softeners

For many women, having a first bowel movement after giving birth is scary, and doctors frequently recommend a stool softener to ease passing stool postpartum. Prune juice and walking also help get the bowels moving. Milk of magnesia may help if you have yet to pass a stool by day three or four.^2,3,8

4. Don’t Do Any Heavy Lifting

The rule of thumb in postpartum care is to not lift anything heavier than your newborn for the first several weeks. Heavy lifting increases intra-abdominal pressure. The pressure can cause a C-section incision to open and sometimes pelvic organ prolapse, as well as other complications. Wait until your physician clears you at about four to six weeks postpartum before tackling heavier tasks.^3,8,12

5. Don’t Forget To Drink and Eat

When caring for a newborn, hours slip away, and among the things to avoid after giving birth is forgetting to eat or drink.

For proper postpartum care, make a conscious effort to replenish and nourish yourself with healthy options throughout the day. Eating smaller meals may help increase your intake. Breastfeeding mothers have higher caloric and fluid needs to maintain milk production. Staying hydrated also helps with constipation. Women should aim for eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily, and breastfeeding mothers need about 16 8-ounce glasses daily.^3,8,11,14 Having family and friends participate in a meal train is a welcome idea if you have the support available.

6. Don’t Refuse Help

Accept help from others in your support system. Ask for help with laundry, preparing meals, shopping, caring for other children, and lifting objects. After all, you just had a baby, and getting help with daily tasks will enable you to rest and recover more quickly.

7. Don’t Put Anything in Your Vagina Too Soon

Avoid tampons, menstrual cups, and sex until your physician gives you the okay, typically about four to six weeks postpartum. Inserting anything in your vagina too soon after birth can lead to an infection.^3,4,5,8

8. Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself

Sometimes, there’s pressure on women to do it all, be a superwoman, and bounce back to a pre-pregnancy body immediately after giving birth. These are unrealistic expectations for most new mothers, and trying to achieve perfection can lead to signs of overdoing it postpartum. Taking on too much too soon can deplete you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It puts you at risk for pain, injury, complications, and postpartum depression.^2,6 Be forgiving and kind to yourself. Listen to your body, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to achieve perfection. This season of life is a marathon, not a sprint.

9. Don’t Ignore Your Feelings

Women can experience a roller coaster of emotions after giving birth. Fluctuating hormones and coping with the new demands of motherhood play a role. Learning to care for your baby takes time and patience. Even siblings can have very different personalities. What worked for your first baby may not work for your second. Add sleep deprivation, and both parents can have moments of exhaustion, but mothers have the added challenge of a healing body.

Fluctuating emotions are normal, but if you have prolonged sadness lasting more than a few days, contact your healthcare provider for advice. Postpartum depression affects 1 in 7 women and usually appears about one to three weeks after giving birth. It differs from the baby blues, lasts longer, and may need treatment.^2,6,7,8

10. Don’t Skip Follow-Up Appointments

Postpartum checkups are a vital component of postpartum care. Expect to follow up with your OB-GYN within two to three weeks after delivery and again between six and eight weeks postpartum. You should then have a final visit around 12 weeks.^2,7,8,9,15

11. Don’t Forget To Discuss Birth Control

During your postpartum checkups, make sure to discuss birth control. It is a myth that women cannot get pregnant during the postpartum period or while breastfeeding. There are many instances where families have siblings less than a year apart.^2,3,4,7

12. Don’t Go to the Gym Too Soon

Strenuous exercise, including cardio, core, and weight lifting, may be unsafe postpartum. Talk with your doctor before starting or restarting any exercise program. On the other hand, walking is encouraged; it is gentle exercise, and a short stroll in the fresh air can be refreshing and uplifting.^3,8

Postpartum Care: Foods To Avoid After Giving Birth

Nutritious foods provide much-needed nutrients to help your body heal and produce milk. However, some drinks and foods should be consumed in moderation, such as tea or coffee, because they may affect a breastfeeding baby. But, overall, there are minimal restrictions. If you are breastfeeding, consuming alcohol requires some consideration. It is best to speak with your doctor about alcohol intake first.^11,13

What Causes a Setback During Postpartum Care Period?

Knowing what not to do after giving birth can help mothers heal. But sometimes, despite a mother’s best efforts, setbacks that are out of her control can happen. Examples of things that can cause setbacks postpartum include:^1,4,6,7,8

• Pain
• Infection
• Difficulty breastfeeding
• Traumatic, complicated, or emergent birth
• C-section complications
• Having a child in the neonatal ICU

Timeline for Postpartum Care

Postpartum care recommendations change with the passing days and weeks post-delivery. As your body heals and gets stronger, limitations slowly lift.

Can You Take a Bath After Giving Birth?

The answer varies. If you had a vaginal delivery, you could have a bath as long as your doctor says it is okay; however, if you have stitches or a C-section, you may need to wait longer. But talk to your healthcare provider first. Sitz baths are warm, shallow baths that promote perineal healing and provide comfort by easing pain. Sitz baths are typically safe, and you can soak for 15-20 minutes once a day after the first 24 hours after delivery.^3,5,8,16

How Long Should You Rest After Giving Birth?

During the first 48 hours after giving birth, you should do little other than rest and feed your baby. During the days, weeks, and months that follow, listen to your body and rest when needed; after all, you just had a baby. Take things slowly; don’t try to do too much too fast.

When Can You Drive After Giving Birth?

To drive, you need to feel like you can react quickly, wear a seatbelt comfortably, and be alert. For this reason, the length of time to abstain from driving after a vaginal or C-section birth may vary. Speaking with your doctor before getting back behind the wheel is best.

Postpartum Symptoms Not To Ignore

Women are at risk for developing complications postpartum even if they have an uncomplicated pregnancy and birth. The following is a list of postpartum symptoms not to ignore, and some can be life-threatening. Make sure to seek medical attention if you experience any of the following symptoms:^1,2,3,4,6,8

• Severe pain or cramping
• Increased bleeding or passing of large clots
• Sore, red, warm breasts or nipples
• Problems with breastfeeding
• Severe headache
• Blurred vision
• High blood pressure
• Shortness of breath
• Chest pain or leg pain
• Fever
• Incontinence
• Problems with C-section incisions, episiotomies, or tears
• Feeling like you may harm yourself or your baby
• Prolonged feelings of sadness

The postpartum care period is a special time when you finally meet your baby, full of beautiful moments. Take time to rest and recover, seek medical advice when needed, and enlist help from your support system. Your baby needs you to be the healthiest, strongest version of yourself.

While having a C-section is not typically one’s first choice, sometimes it is the safest way to get your baby to earthside. And getting your beautiful baby here safely is the utmost priority. Because a C-section is a major surgery, it leaves behind an incision — a representation of your little miracle. Most uncomplicated C-sections involve a small incision above the pubic bone. There are ways you can care for and look after your C-section scar to encourage healthy healing.¹

Types of C-Section Scars and Incisions

There are two types of C-section incisions: low transverse and classical. If your provider needs to get your baby out urgently, or you’ve had a previous C-section, a classical incision may be required. Your doctor will make an incision into your abdomen and another in your uterus to get your baby out. The incisions are typically 4 inches to 6 inches long to accommodate your baby’s head and shoulders.²

Low Transverse Incision

Low transverse C-section incisions are horizontal or side-to-side incisions just above the pubic bone along the bikini line.²

Classical Incision

Classical C-section incisions are vertical in the abdomen between the pubic bone and the naval.²

Stitches After a C-Section

Your doctor will often close incisions with dissolvable stitches and place strips of medical tape called Steri-Strips along the incision line. After your delivery, your incision will also be dressed with a medical bandage. This bandage stays on for 24-48 hours, but the Steri-Strips will stay on for up to a week.³

If your doctor couldn’t use stitches to close your incision, they may use staples. Unlike dissolvable stitches, staples must be removed by your medical team after a few days. Another option that may be used is surgical glue. The glue will hold your incision together and will peel off on its own as the incision heals.¹

Caring for Your C-Section Scar

Taking good care of your C-section incision is essential for encouraging proper healing. Properly caring for your C-section scar will help prevent injury and infection.

• To keep the area clean, shower and wash the area daily. Let warm water and mild soap wash over the incision site to do this. Be careful not to scrub the area. Letting the water and soap run over the area should be enough to cleanse it.³
• After you’ve washed the incision, carefully pat the area dry with a clean towel.³
• Allow Steri-Strips to stay in place for up to a week. Try not to remove them unless it’s been 10 or more days.³
• Avoid swimming and soaking in a hot tub or bathtub until your doctor clears you. This is typically after 2-4 weeks.³
• Take it slow and take caution when changing positions. You don’t want to strain or stretch your C-section scar site. Try to be mindful of when you’re bending and twisting. You can hug a pillow to your incision when coughing, sneezing, or laughing.⁴
• Follow your provider’s instructions regarding lifting and exercise. Typically, you shouldn’t be lifting anything heavier than 10 pounds or doing vigorous exercise for the first six weeks. Light walking is okay and even recommended. This is the time to slow down, let your body heal, and enjoy your sweet baby.⁴
• Wear loose-fitting clothes. Tight clothing can rub and irritate the C-section scar site. This is your cue to get comfy and whip out those sweatpants and pajama bottoms.
• Take pain medications as prescribed. Your incision will be most painful in the first three days but can remain sore for up to six weeks. Your doctor will prescribe you a pain medication regimen. Staying on top of your pain medications will help with your C-section recovery and help you to stay comfortable as you heal.⁴

Eat Healthy

Your C-section scar will be most sensitive and puffy in the first two weeks. Every scar heals differently, but there are things you can do to encourage proper healing. Taking good care of yourself can help aid the healing process. It’s challenging when you’re busy caring for your beautiful new baby around the clock but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Accept help when you can, and don’t be afraid to reach out to your partner, family, and friends during this time.

Everyone heals differently, and C-section scars are the same. Some people are more prone to getting thicker scars, while others heal relatively well with no issues. Here are some things you can do that may help improve scar tissue. Always check with your provider before trying any treatments on your C-section scar.

• Stay hydrated and eat nutritious foods to help fuel the body with what it needs to decrease inflammation and scar tissue. Eating enough fiber will also prevent constipation.²
• Avoid putting creams or gels on your scar without speaking with your provider first. Some gels and creams can irritate the C-section scar further.
• Keep your scar out of the sun. The UV rays can cause the scar to darken and discolor.⁵
• Avoid picking and itching the incision as it heals. Your incision may feel numb, tingly, or itchy while it heals but try your best not to disturb it. This could cause more scar tissue to form.⁵

What to Look for With Your C-Section Scar

When caring for your incision, there are signs to look for that could indicate a possible infection or complication. If you have any concerns, contact your provider right away. If an infection is present, your provider may have to prescribe antibiotics or investigate the infection further.

Signs of infection or complication:³

• A fever of 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit
• Redness, swelling, warmth, or pus at the incision site.
• Worsening pain in the incision site or abdomen
• If your incision breaks open or separates

A C-section sometimes is the safest way for your baby to be born. Your C-section scar from this major surgery is your battle scar and represents your little one’s arrival. C-section scars can heal well with proper care, and these tips can help. However, contact your provider immediately if you’re concerned about how yours is healing.

The pelvic floor is usually not something a person regularly thinks about. Unfortunately, it’s not something someone necessarily pays attention to until they experience a problem. When a woman becomes pregnant and has a baby, many women start to recognize just how important their pelvic floor is and that they may need to seek help. Pelvic floor health is not the sexiest topic, but it’s a vital one, especially for expecting women and mothers. And today’s guest, Dr. Marcy Crouch, is an expert discussing vaginas and the pelvic floor. She’s sharing her vast knowledge and experience and what all women need to know about pelvic floor health during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

Who is Dr. Marcy Crouch?

Dr. Marcy is the founder of The Down There Doc. She’s a mama and a doctor dedicated to universally serving, empowering, and equipping women and the birthing community with confidence-building and injury-prevention tips, along with valuable information and knowledge to support birth preparation and postpartum recovery. Through The DownThere Doc’s content, online programs, virtual sessions, advocacy, and clear, candid information, Dr. Marcy and her team of experts are dedicated to creating better care for women everywhere. Her vision is to set a new standard of physical health and well-being for birth preparation and postpartum recovery for the birthing community so women thrive physically throughout their lives. We love this mission and are ecstatic to have her on our show.

You’ll leave this episode feeling more knowledgeable about your pelvic floor, and you’ll have a better understanding of what you can do to better prepare for childbirth, how to effectively push during labor, some recovery from childbirth tips, and the most useful pelvic floor tips in the days and weeks following birth.

Dr. Marcy’s Resources

• The Down There Doc
• Push Prep 101 (FREE webinar)
  • In this webinar, Mamas will learn what to really expect during pushing and delivery (including Dr. Marcy’s proven system to reduce the risk of tearing), so they can leave fear at the doorstep and confidently give birth!
• Instagram: @thedowntheredoc
• TikTok: @thedowntheredoc
• No Mama Left Behind

The nursery is ready, and your bags are packed. You’ve attended the classes and read the baby books. You feel ready, but there are a few things that nobody prepares you for. Plenty of things surprise people about having a baby, so here’s what your postpartum nurse wants you to know.

6 Things Your Postpartum Nurse Wants You To Know

Here are six things your postpartum nurse wants you to know about after you give birth to your baby.

1. It Can Be Difficult to Rest in the Hospital

To ensure you and your baby are healthy and safe, your nursing staff will be rounding every few hours. Your postpartum nurse wants you to know they will monitor your vital signs, assess your bleeding, and administer medications. Your doctors and your baby’s pediatricians will also check in and evaluate your health.

Between everyone popping in and those late-night feedings, it may feel like you can’t catch a break. But I assure you, your hospital team wants to ensure you recover safely. You can request that your nurse and nurse’s aide cluster your care visits together to give you as much rest as possible.

2. After Delivery, Your Nurse Will Press on Your Abdomen

Once you deliver your baby, the nurses will perform a fundal massage. A massage may sound nice, but this one can be uncomfortable. Your postpartum nurse wants you to know they or another provider will push on your abdomen to feel your uterus. After delivery, your uterus should be nice and firm to prevent too much bleeding. If it is not firm, they will massage your uterus on your abdomen, stimulating your uterus to firm up again. If you had significant bleeding at delivery, your nurse might have to perform your fundal massages frequently.¹

Every few hours, your nurse will feel your uterus and massage it to make sure it’s firm and contracted. This encourages the uterus to shrink back down in size. Try not to tense up during these fundal massages.¹

3. Postpartum Cramps Can Feel Like Contractions

Something that shocks many new moms is that you may experience contraction-like cramps after you deliver your baby. These are sometimes referred to as “afterbirth pains.” Your uterus is working hard at clamping down and shrinking to its previous size. This is our body’s way of preventing too much bleeding, but it can be painful. Luckily, they’re not nearly as intense as labor contractions.²

These cramps tend to come on when you’re breastfeeding due to the release of the hormone oxytocin. Applying heat to the abdomen may be comforting, and many hospitals have heating pads available. Don’t hesitate to ask your nurse for a heating pad to help with the discomfort. Many moms also find pain medications such as ibuprofen to be helpful. The cramping typically lasts two to three days and should fully subside after a week.^3,4

4. We Never Judge How You Feed Your Baby

Your postpartum nurse wants you to know that they and the doctor will ask if you wish to breastfeed or bottle feed because they want to know how to support you best. Do you want to breastfeed? Your nurse can show you how to latch your baby or request a lactation consultant. Do you want to bottle feed? No judgment here; let’s get you some bottles and formula.

Not everyone wants or can breastfeed their baby, and that’s okay. Your hospital will have baby bottles and formula available, and your nurse can guide you on how much to start with.

5. Second-Night Syndrome

Babies are most alert right after they’re born. This is known as the golden hour. This is when many babies will have their first feeding. After that first hour, babies become very sleepy. They’re recovering from birth, too, after all.⁵

Encouraging your baby for their feeding during that first day may be challenging. But after the first 24 hours, babies tend to wake up and become more alert. This is when they will make up for lost time and participate in what many refer to as the “second-night syndrome.” If you’re breastfeeding, this means your baby will want to cluster feed frequently. Sometimes, it feels like it’s nonstop.⁶

Cluster feeding has many moms questioning their supply. But this is very common and is your baby’s way of encouraging your milk to come in. If your baby produces enough wet and dirty diapers and is not losing too much weight, you can follow your baby’s lead and know it is temporary.⁷

6. Nurseries are Becoming a Thing of the Past

More hospitals are promoting “rooming-in” with your baby. Your postpartum nurse wants you to know this means instead of sending your baby to a nursery, babies remain in the room with their parents. There are many benefits to rooming-in:⁸

• It promotes bonding. Having your baby in the room allows you to get to know your baby. This helps build confidence in caring for your new baby.⁹
• Being close to your baby allows you to notice their feeding cues and respond accordingly. You can respond to early feeding cues before your baby gets overly hungry and is harder to console. This promotes better breastfeeding outcomes.¹⁰
• Babies who room-in have more stable temperatures and blood sugar levels. When babies are close to their parents, they are more likely to participate in skin-to-skin contact. Skin-to-skin has many benefits, such as better temperature regulation and blood sugar levels in the baby.¹¹

Skin-to-skin helps regulate the baby’s heart rate and breathing. It encourages relaxation and reduces stress hormones for mother and baby. And it’s not just for mothers either; dads can benefit from skin-to-skin, too. What could be better than fresh newborn snuggles and that new baby smell?¹¹

Becoming a new parent comes with many unknowns, but your postpartum nurse wants you to know you got this! Give yourself grace, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Take advantage of the short time you’re in the hospital. Nurses enjoy teaching new parents. And remember, there is no better parent for your baby than you.

As a mom of three, if there’s one “rule” about postpartum recovery that I can tell you is true, there are no rules but plenty of postpartum myths. No magic formula makes your baby bump disappear into thin air. There is no guarantee your milk will come in on day two, day three, or at all. And there is no way to ensure you’ll have a vaginal birth — even if you write a super-detailed birth plan. As a new mom, you’ll hear a long list of things that “should” happen or things you “should do” as you recover from the life-changing milestone of bringing a human into the world. But most of them are just postpartum myths to ignore.

Here’s the truth: As an exhausted mother doing her best on very little sleep, you should listen to your body and intuition first and foremost, blocking out the rest. And we’ve compiled a list of 15 postpartum myths every mother should ignore.

6 Postpartum Myths on Recovery

Here are six postpartum myths on mental and physical recovery new moms should forget about.

Myth 1: Your bump will disappear, and you’ll leave the hospital in pre-pregnancy jeans.

It doesn’t help when we see selfies from flat-tummy celebrities hours after giving birth and expect that of ourselves. Newsflash — that’s not the norm for most women! You should expect to still look pregnant for days and possibly weeks after giving birth. And plan on going home in loose, comfy pants.

I was at the hospital with my sister when she gave birth to her first child, and I was six months pregnant with my first. We looked a lot alike, and several times, the nurses and doctors confused us when entering the room because we both looked six months pregnant even though her child was already born.

Also, I went home in maternity pants after giving birth to all my babies (and lived in them for weeks after!)

Myth 2: Incontinence, pelvic floor issues, pain with sex, and prolapse are all normal and to be expected after having a baby.

We must be careful with the word “normal.” Yes, these things happen to many women, and they don’t necessarily mean something is “wrong” with your body. However, they are issues you should talk to your doctor about and should not ignore. You can take steps to help your body heal and recover so that leaking, pain, and other symptoms go away. While no specific timeline for recovery applies to all women, after a few weeks postpartum, you should start to feel some relief.

My body struggled to recover after my first vaginal birth. My labor was over 24 hours (more than two hours of which were pushing), and my baby was over nine pounds. Over a week after his birth, I still couldn’t walk more than five minutes without extreme pain. However, I had two more huge nine-plus-pound babies and recovered quickly, proving that I needed to listen to my body each time and tend to it as much as I was tending to the babies.

Some expert tips for women recovering and trying to heal their pelvic floor after birth include using ice and compression, starting gentle pelvic floor contractions on Day 1, resting, and knowing the details of your labor and all the ins and outs of your entire pelvic region. Your doctor is the first person you should consult when taking steps toward recovery.¹

If you have pelvic floor dysfunction symptoms (like urinary or rectal incontinence) that are not getting better, you could be a candidate for prolapse surgery and should contact your doctor.²

Myth 3: Your stomach will never be the same after pregnancy, and you can do nothing about it.

No one can predict how pregnancy will affect their body, but we should all expect some change because birthing a human is a big deal. That doesn’t mean, however, that symptoms like Diastasis recti (the separation of the vertical abdominal muscle that runs down the front of the torso) have to be permanent. Diastasis recti and many other physical changes are pretty common after birth, but many women can fully heal and see their body return to their pre-pregnancy form.³

On the other hand, some women do not, and the miracle of birth permanently alters their bodies. Their stomachs may never again look like they did before their baby arrived. Same for their breasts, legs, or even face. Many postpartum moms have permanent stretch marks, while others notice their stretch marks disappear. And some women never get them. All these scenarios are normal and common.

Myth 4: After six weeks, you should be 100% recovered and ready for anything, including sex.

Each of our bodies is unique, meaning we all recover on different timelines. Your healing process will have much to do with the type of pregnancy and birth you had and other things like your general physical health and pre-existing conditions. Some moms are back to the gym full force at six weeks. Others are just starting to take the baby for a five-minute walk around the block. Some women are comfortable having sex again at this point, while others need more time.

Don’t let anyone tell you your timeline for resuming normal activity, including sex. Even the Mayo Clinic says it’s all up to you, and there’s no required waiting period before you can have sex again. However, some providers recommend waiting until four to six weeks after delivery, regardless of the delivery method. Waiting gives your body time to heal.⁴

Listen to your body, says the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: “If you had a healthy pregnancy and a normal vaginal delivery, you should be able to start exercising again soon after the baby is born. Usually, it is safe to begin exercising a few days after giving birth—or as soon as you feel ready. If you had a cesarean birth or complications, ask your ob-gyn when it is safe to begin exercising again.”⁵

If you feel pain, however, or had a complicated birth, or you just don’t feel ready to get out there and run five miles, give yourself more time. Go for a short walk first and work your way back up. Again, your body basically just ran a marathon, so it’s okay to take some time off.

Myth 5: You’ll get your body back after X weeks or X months.

First, what does this vague and often toxic statement even mean? Your body never left. It was always there, and it was busy doing something incredible. But if this statement means “return to the exact form, look, weight, measurement, etc., it was before pregnancy,” there are a few essential things to remember. For one, there is no one-timeline-fits-all for this. Some women notice their bodies are different after birth — and always will be. Others return to their pre-pregnancy look, but even for them, that can take weeks, months, or years.

But most importantly, mothers should remember that it’s normal never to see a complete return to the way your body was before. You carried a whole human inside of you for months. Remember that, cherish the amazing body you have today, and remind yourself that you already “have your body back” because you never lost it, to begin with.

Myth 6: Feeling the “baby blues” is normal, and you don’t need to talk to anyone about it.

Yes, it’s 100% normal to feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotional after bringing a new baby into the world and then having to immediately care for it while you, yourself, are recovering. However, the reason it’s so important to communicate your symptoms to your doctor is so they can help determine if it is just those very common “baby blues” or if you’re showing signs of postpartum depression.

According to Henry Ford Health, an in-depth discussion of your symptoms is crucial for your well-being and your child’s. “Some of the symptoms of baby blues are irritability, fatigue, and sadness. PPD symptoms are often more severe and include aggression, extreme stress, and potential feelings of detachment from the baby,” Henry Ford Health explains.⁶

And knowing that you are as overwhelmed as you are (as many postpartum moms are), it shouldn’t be up to you to determine if you are showing signs of PPD —that’s your doctor’s job. So, talk to them about how you are doing because a healthy mom must be the top priority.

4 Postpartum Myths on Breastfeeding

Here are four postpartum myths about breastfeeding that every new mom should ignore.

Myth 1: Breastfeeding will come naturally.

This is one of the most damaging myths told to new moms, as it can impact their psyche if it doesn’t turn out to be true for them. Many women who want to breastfeed cannot or struggle as they try to figure it out. From insufficient milk supply to their baby having latch issues to health complications in either mom or baby, there are several reasons why breastfeeding doesn’t often “come naturally.” And if that sounds like your journey, please know that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not a bad mother if you desire to feed your child in this way and simply cannot.⁷

There are several reasons for low milk supply, including polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), high blood pressure, and if you received steroids to help the baby’s lungs develop. Also, latch issues related to a baby having a tongue tie, a mom having flat nipples, or abrupt changes in a feeding pattern can affect milk supply and feeding efficiency.⁷

Breastfeeding doesn’t “come naturally,” and no mother should be judged for not breastfeeding. Your motherhood journey is a success if your baby is fed and loved.

Myth 2: If breastfeeding hurts, you’re doing it wrong.

This was one of the most harmful myths I believed. I, too, thought breastfeeding would be easy and come naturally, and if it hurt, I was doing something wrong. But it was the hardest part of postpartum recovery for me. It took my baby and me six weeks to figure it out. Six weeks of me crying in pain, him crying in frustration and hunger, and six weeks of me, a new mom, feeling like a huge failure.

Breastfeeding hurt because he had a horrible latch and fought me for weeks. It also hurt because all his feedings were insufficient, so he was never truly full, and therefore I had to keep trying every hour all day, never giving my breasts a break or time to heal. Being told I must be “doing it wrong” was the last thing I needed to hear in my desperate state. What I really needed (and eventually got) was a patient lactation consultant offering tricks and tips like breast shields, calming breathing techniques for me to try, better nipple cream, and most of all, the permission to supplement with formula to fill his belly so he’d be calmer next time we tried nursing.

Myth 3: If you breastfeed, the baby weight will fall off.

Breastfeeding indeed burns calories, so for many moms, there seems to be a link between breastfeeding and postpartum weight loss. But as we all know, we are unique, and our bodies break down fat and calories differently.⁸

La Leche League International says postpartum moms shouldn’t necessarily assume they’ll lose weight if they breastfeed. “While breastfeeding burns about 500-700 calories extra per day to fuel milk making, this may not always contribute to weight loss postpartum – many factors like pre-pregnancy weight, diet, physical activity level, etc., will impact weight loss after birth.” This article adds that although there are no guarantees of weight loss, “On average, exclusively breastfeeding mothers may see a loss of 1-2 pounds a month, and over time, breastfeeding moms tend to lose more weight than mothers who do not breastfeed.” ^8,9,10,11

Myth 4: Breastfeeding mothers cannot get pregnant.

Breastfeeding is not effective birth control! Far too many women believe this myth. They use no form of pregnancy preventative and find themselves quickly on the road to another baby before they are ready.

This myth stems from the fact that often, breastfeeding moms don’t see their periods return for months after their baby is born, so they assume they are not ovulating and don’t use birth control. Then, surprise! They’re pregnant—again.¹²

As Penn Medicine Lancaster General Health explains, “The biggest reason is simply not knowing exactly when your menstrual cycle may come back. The amount of time from childbirth to your cycle returning varies widely for every woman, whether breastfeeding or not. Because of this, ovulation can happen unknowingly.” So, if you are trying to prevent a pregnancy, don’t assume breastfeeding works as a form of birth control or you could be in for a big shock.¹²

5 Postpartum Myths on All the ‘Shoulds’

Here are five postpartum myths about the “shoulds” a new mother may hear.

Myth 1: Your baby should be sleeping through the night by six weeks.

If only this postpartum myth were a guarantee. But I can attest to this one as a big myth first-hand. My first child had many tummy issues and struggled to breastfeed. He didn’t sleep through the night until he was nearly a year old, and I was beyond exhausted. The last thing in the world I needed to hear (and oh, boy, did I hear it) was that “he should be sleeping through the night by now” — as if I wasn’t desperate for that to happen and doing everything in my power to make it happen.

But the truth is, for many reasons, a baby’s sleep schedule cannot be predicted and, in many cases, cannot be controlled. Please know there is absolutely nothing you’re doing wrong. (But I encourage you to accept help if it’s available so you can rest!)¹³

Myth 2: You shouldn’t hold your baby so much, or you’ll spoil them.

First, who doesn’t want to spoil a baby with snuggles? But more importantly, it is a postpartum myth that excessively holding a baby harms its development. As Healthline reports, even in the 1980s, studies were already coming out to report that holding a crying baby helps, not harms, their ability to self-regulate and self-soothe. “In 1986, the journal Pediatrics published a study about a randomized controlled trial that found that new babies who were carried more tended to cry and fuss less,” the article reads. “We conclude that supplemental carrying modifies ‘normal’ crying by reducing the duration and altering the typical pattern of crying and fussing in the first 3 months of life.”¹⁴

Also, Healthline adds that you can’t “spoil” a newborn because “A newborn baby’s brain isn’t really finished developing yet. In fact, their brain won’t be mature for some time. So, your proximity to the baby helps them respond to all these new stimuli in their environment and begin to self-regulate.”¹⁴

So go ahead and hold that baby all you want, mama! And let grandma hold the baby too. All the snuggles are welcome.

Myth 3: Baby’s needs should come first, above all else.

This postpartum myth is a biggie and often shocks people. But think about it. Everyone is already doting on a baby. Everyone wants to meet the baby, hold the baby, and snuggle the baby. The doctors inspect the baby, top to bottom, at every appointment (and it seems like there’s one every other day, right?) Baby’s needs are already being met 100 times over.

So, who is far too often neglected during this challenging time? The truth is, mom’s needs should be prioritized, just as the baby’s, because we all know that no one will forget to take care of the baby. But lots of times, everyone forgets to take care of Mom. Mom just birthed a human and is healing. Mom is getting up all night to feed the baby. Mom’s body just got stretched and torn, and now her breasts are engorged, and she’s still wearing mesh underpants and thick pads due to bleeding. Mom needs love, care, help, and being told she’s doing well.

Because remember: Everyone needs mom to be okay, or else it all falls apart. So, make sure mom is okay. That is the No. 1 priority.

Myth 4: Motherhood and your bond with your baby should come naturally.

For many mothers, their bond with their babies isn’t instant, and motherhood doesn’t feel “natural” but is a work in progress. And you know what? They are still amazing moms.

I remember laboring for 24 hours, pushing for two, finally getting my giant nine-pound baby out, being stitched up, and begging for food. I hadn’t eaten anything besides ice chips, and my first thought was a pizza, not bonding with my baby. My husband was already doting on him. The doctors and nurses were already doting on him. My focus was filling my belly and napping; then, I’d work on our mother-son bond. That child is about to go to high school next year, and we have an unbreakable bond that we’ve nurtured for 14 years.

And I have zero regrets about prioritizing ordering a pizza as soon as he was born.

Also, mothers suffering from postpartum depression or who had traumatizing deliveries need to focus on their recovery and not feel guilty if they don’t feel an instant connection to motherhood. What they just did, what they are still doing, it’s hard work. Getting up daily and caring for the baby, themselves, and possibly other children can all be overwhelming, leaving little time or space to connect emotionally to their newborn.

It will come. Mom’s body will heal. Baby will start sleeping longer. The clouds will part, the sun will shine, and you’ll soon look at that beautiful baby and whisper, “We’ve got this. We’re doing this, you and me. And look what a good job we’re doing.”

Myth 5: You should love every minute.

No. As a mother of three (a teen, a tween, and a 10-year-old), I loathe this postpartum myth. I knew my entire life that I wanted to be a mother, and it is the single greatest thing I have and will ever do in my life. And I know I’m a good mom. But holy cannoli, are there minutes I didn’t love. Minutes I hated. Hours I hated. Days I cried and felt like a failure and said four-letter words as I rewashed pee-soaked sheets and carried screaming toddlers out of Target while judgy eyes and pursed lips made me feel like a bad mom.

Why didn’t I love every minute? What was wrong with me? Was I a bad mom? NO. The truth is much of parenting is mundane and boring. Much of it is frustrating beyond measure. And much of it is thankless, exhausting work that makes you question your life choices.

A Mother’s Thankless Job is Worth It

Of course, it is worth it. I realize now, as I see my kids growing up into who they want to be—one in theater, an animal lover, and a hockey player. Two are joiners, always involved in multiple activities, while one is more introverted and likes staying home. I look back at their early years and wonder how we got through some of those days—back when I was home with them all day every day, week after week, month after month, breastfeeding, potty-training, trying to get them to eat green vegetables and pick up their toys. But I realize now that I was doing the work to help them develop into the beautiful and kind humans they are today.

But no, I didn’t enjoy every minute, and no mother should expect herself to.

Mothers are told so many lies and stories of how they “should” do this or feel this. How their children “should” be at this milestone by that age, or they’ll never “get their body back,” or how they “should get their body back.” How good mothers do it one way and bad mothers do it another.

None of these postpartum myths are true because there is no manual for motherhood. There is no one-size-fits-all model for bringing a child into this world and raising them to be a good person. Good moms breastfeed, and good moms don’t, and good moms hold their babies a lot, and good moms put their babies down. Some good moms instantly bond with their children, and some good moms take some time to connect. Remember that no matter what, if you love your baby, you’re already doing a good job.

Whether you’re a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, or a stay-at-home parent, when the final bedtime story has been read and it’s time for lights out, it’s been a long day. We can all relate to how well we function, how good we feel when we have gotten sufficient sleep, and how lousy we feel when postpartum insomnia hits. Your body wants to shut off, but your brain isn’t getting the memo, and sleep is nowhere in sight. You can feel the anxiety crawl up your chest as the minutes tick by. The baby will be up before you know it. You’re exhausted, and you’ve been waiting to recharge all day. So, why are you wide awake?

Before you had kids, friends and family likely teased you about getting sleep while you still could. You probably laughed and nodded at the time, but looking back; you didn’t know what was in store. Postpartum insomnia is a real issue, not just affecting new moms. It’s common for moms up to two years postpartum but can be a persistent issue if you ignore it.

Postpartum Insomnia Rates Higher Than Other Women

Rates of insomnia disorder up to two years postpartum range from around 30 percent to 50 percent, compared to about 11 percent of women in the general population. More than half of the patients licensed clinical health psychologist Dr. Shantha Gowda sees in her clinic say their insomnia began after the birth of their first child.¹

“Professionally and personally, I can say that it’s an extremely common phenomenon,” says Dr. Gowda. But while it’s a widespread issue, that doesn’t mean moms need to accept sleepless nights as the norm.

Dr. Molly Atwood, Ph.D., director of the Clinical Training Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program at Johns Hopkins, notes that while insomnia is more common for mothers compared to other people, there are some things moms can do to improve the rest they get and wake up refreshed.¹

What Contributes to Postpartum Insomnia?

Often, new mothers experience fatigue and sleep loss, known as sleep deprivation. The opportunities for sleep narrow to a window of time after you bring your baby home from the hospital. With constant feedings, diaper changes, chores, and other tasks taking the forefront, it’s essential to prioritize and plan for our sleep just as much as we do for our babies. But postpartum insomnia is a different beast that can plague even the most desperate dream chasers.⁸

Stressful physical and mental changes during postpartum, including a drop in estrogen and progesterone after delivery, can contribute to nighttime wakefulness as they influence the circadian rhythms, specifically due to the impact of progesterone which has sedative properties and also is linked with melatonin levels (which impact sleep).²

Sign of Postpartum Insomnia

“Racing thoughts in particular, often called rumination, is a symptom of insomnia and is typically due to over-activation of the brain’s frontal cortex,” says Dr. Gowda. Racing thoughts and increased heart rate are common symptoms of anxiety and stress that engage our sympathetic nervous system, which causes us to feel more alert and on guard, releasing our body’s stress hormone, cortisol.

“There are several reasons why the fight or flight response might be overactive at night, including thinking about problems or issues that have not been adequately addressed or processed during the day, thinking about to-dos or planning for the next day, or worrying about the future including whether or not you or your infant will sleep,” explains Dr. Atwood. “If you are too focused on getting sleep, you might wonder when your infant will wake you again and how much sleep you have left before you need to face the demands of the day.”

Plus, repeatedly tossing and turning in bed might do more harm than good. When you try too hard to produce sleep when you’re unable or ready to, the body starts associating these states with the bed. While you might even try to cope with sleep loss by spending more time in bed, napping, or canceling activities because you’re too tired or for fear that plans will interfere with the next night’s sleep, you may create a chronic insomnia issue.

How Can Moms Overcome Postpartum Insomnia?

If you have difficulty with postpartum insomnia, it can feel close to impossible not to fixate on it. Instead, it can be helpful to get out of bed and do something pleasant and relaxing until you feel sleepy, like making a soothing tea or practicing a gentle five-minute meditation or stretch, and then returning to bed. Is sleep escaping you? Give these methods a try:

Set Aside Problem-Solving Time

While many of us stay up late at night trying to solve the world’s problems, it’s best to set aside specific problem-solving time to prevent anxious thoughts or restless minds before we settle in under the covers.

“If disruptive thinking is commonly occurring in bed, it may be helpful to set aside time during the day or early evening to do the thinking, processing, problem-solving, and planning you need to do,” suggests Dr. Atwood. “If disruptive thinking returns at night, remind yourself that you will have time to address it tomorrow and refocus your attention on something relaxing and pleasant.”

Sync Up Your Sleep Schedule

If you are desperate for quality sleep, it might be tempting to sneak in some extra shuteye on an evening when the baby goes down earlier than expected. But beware of forcing yourself to bed at 6:30 in the evening just because you want to play catch up; experts say it could have a counter effect. Instead, it’s best not to go to bed until you are sleepy and never before your regular bedtime.

“Waiting until you are sleepy helps to ensure that your body has enough drive for deep sleep,” says Dr. Atwood. “Keep the same wake-up time every day, no matter how much sleep you got the night before, and limit napping. Sleeping in and napping will reduce the amount of drive you have for deep sleep the following night, which could contribute to longer awakenings or greater difficulty initially falling asleep.” If you need to nap, limiting daytime naps to no more than 30 minutes is a good idea.⁹

Create a Bedtime Buffer Zone

You’re likely familiar with the harmful effects of blue lights our electronic devices omit, but does that stop you from limiting your exposure before bedtime? While all types of visible light can affect circadian rhythms, blue light has the most significant impact because it stimulates parts of the brain that make us feel alert, elevating our body temperature and heart rate.³

“Practice good sleep hygiene in addition to minimizing naps and caffeine, such as relaxing and unwinding before bed, minimizing work, phones, and other screens in bed,” says Dr. Gowda. Finding the right ritual for you may take some trial and error, but after repeating a new wind-down process, your brain will begin associating your new pattern with rest. “Create a buffer zone before bed, consisting of relaxing and enjoyable activities only, under dim lighting,” suggests Dr. Atwood. “This will help relax your body and prepare it for sleep.”

Home In On Happy Habits

Pay attention to how much physical activity, sunlight, and caffeine your body is exposed to daily. Because caffeine tends to remain in your system for long periods, leading to a disruption in sleep quality, it’s important to be mindful of the quantity and timing of your caffeine consumption. Physical movement – even short-distance light walking can also help tire your body out and promote restful nighttime sleep. If getting outside for some fresh air and sunshine isn’t an option in the mornings or afternoons, even sitting near a window can be helpful.^4,5,6

Consider Sleep Science

If insomnia is a more consistent problem, you can seek a specialist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, known as CBTi.

“It’s a non-pharmacological treatment focused on the behavioral, physiological, and psychological factors that interfere with sleep,” explains Dr. Gowda. Therapist-assisted CBTi and light-dark therapy (LDT) have been proven safe and efficient in reducing postpartum insomnia symptoms during the first postpartum year. This medication-free, short-term therapy provides sleep education and works to improve the way you think about and approach sleep.⁷

Remember: Sleeplessness is Normal

Knowing that sleeplessness after welcoming your new baby home is not only expected but also temporary is often enough to help get many women through this phase. During the first few months postpartum, accepting that your baby will not sleep through the night is essential. Research indicates that sleep can be impacted for up to two years postpartum.²

Regardless of whatever sleep training methods you deploy, believing you will not wake in the middle of the night to care for your baby’s needs sets unrealistic expectations. By accepting the realities of the newborn phase and understanding that your baby’s behavior is normal, Dr. Atwood says nighttime can be filled with less frustration or anxiety as you start worrying less about your infant’s next waking.

“As your baby grows, their sleep need will decrease, and the organization of sleep and wake will improve. Nighttime sleep will become more consolidated, and daytime sleep will organize into discrete naps. Around three months of age, babies are able to sleep for longer periods of time without waking for feedings. By six months, on average, babies sleep up to six hours uninterrupted, and by eight months, babies are better able to self-soothe back to sleep after waking,” Atwood says.

How Long Does Postpartum Insomnia Last?

The length of time postpartum insomnia lasts largely depends on several factors, and avoiding the issue instead of searching out solutions is bound to prolong the problem. One of the most common mistakes people make? Believing insomnia is secondary to or a result of a stressor or life event like pregnancy, childbirth, divorce, a job promotion, or even marital stress.

“With this belief, they expect insomnia to resolve once the stressor has passed or they have adjusted to the life event,” explains Dr. Gowda. “The reality is that insomnia very often persists unless it is targeted directly. More often than not, the mother’s insomnia will continue even after their baby is sleeping well and initial concerns have passed. Sleep specialists can offer sleep education and treatment to resolve insomnia and/or strategies to prevent insomnia from worsening or returning in the future.”

There are countless considerations and preparations for welcoming a baby into your family. It carries joy, fear, excitement, worry, and some sleepless nights. Motherhood is hard. Sleeplessness is hard. Combine them, and it’s easy to feel like an agitated, short-fused zombie. As mothers, we know we can do hard things, but it’s essential to know when to ask for help. By placing sleep on the priority list, we can do better and be better. Contact your doctor to discuss sleep options if your postpartum insomnia persists. You can start tonight by identifying and replacing thoughts and behaviors that cause or worsen sleep problems with habits that promote sound sleep.⁷